Dear employees who CC managers and bosses on their emails:
Ask yourselves this: are you capable of getting something done on your own?
When you were a child, did you make sure your parents were aware of all conversations you had with friends? When you were at school, did you make sure the teacher was aware of all playground issues you dealt with? Did your Daddy help you with all your homework?
Did you go home every weekend during college? Did your parents come to visit you every weekend at the dorms? Did you move back in with your parents after college and you still live in their basement?
Have you ever accomplished anything at the office without letting your boss know about it? When was the last time you did something at work without expecting a pat on the back? Have you ever made a decision based on your own good judgment?
More importantly, did you ever wipe your a** without Mom and Dad telling you how great you are?
There is a reason the CC (carbon copy for you technotards out there) functionality exists in email. Let me assure you, CC'ing your boss or my boss on every exchange we have is not one of those reasons. But you've decided to take it one step further, haven't you? You've decided that elevating the CC to three levels of management will ensure this issue gets the spotlight it so richly deserves, haven't you?
You may think your intentions are good. You may even think you're a real go-getter. It's highly likely you think you're on the fast track to corporate riches.
That's where you're wrong. You're a complete a**hole. Everyone at the office hates you. Your only goal is to throw every single person you work with under the bus, because you've got nothing to bring to the table. Did you know that even your boss finds you annoying? And why wouldn't they? Their email inbox is bombarded with your pathetic attempts at passing the buck to someone else. This doesn't stop you though, does it? You think I'm going to act on your email because you've CC'd three levels of management, don't you? Heck, you're probably right.
But, please note: when the timing is right, I WILL throw you under the bus. And not like you throw everyone else under the bus. No, no, no. When you get thrown under the bus, I'm going to make sure the tires hit you. No, strike that. The entire office is going to make sure the tire hits you. So good luck to you Mr or Mrs CC'er. I hope you enjoy your time at this company while it lasts.
Your colleague and friend,
Dudley B. Dawson
