Dear Girl/Fellow blogger,
I have been reading your blog and to sum it all up, just wow! You see, I know for a fact that you are a virgo (All of the things I am about to write are not based only by your astrological sign. Funny thing is I actually know you, personally. In junior high school you were one year ahead of me plus we have been in the same drama class and both starred in mediocre renditions of ‘A Christmas Carol’ and ‘Grease’. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I have been re-reading your posts and I simply cannot help noticing your dire need for some objective perception/apprehension (What the heck… it might not always be objective).
In your blog, you expressed that you are facing a dilemma between friendships and relationships. As a virgo, there is a tendency of being analytic. Maybe a little too much. I understand it is a challenge in itself to balance a relationship and a friendship, but just let it be. Let things go with the flow. I am sure you are doing things right. Maybe too right. Leave a little room for error. It is only normal to want it all, but you cannot have it all. Stand by what you feel is right. Your need for precision and analysis, in your life, over complicates things. Most times it might be unintentional, but in the end, you suffer. You go through this cycle of ‘what if’, but honey don’t be too hard on yourself.
So, I say just relax and enjoy the company of both your boyfriend and friends. The worst case scenario (God forbid) is loosing both your friends and boyfriend. For now, don’t think about any of that. Just live in the moment. Don’t overlook the present. If the dreaded events do take place, let yourself be broken-hearted for there will always be someone to help you to pick up the pieces. (Be it your family or whomever etc). In the words of Elizabeth Gilbert ‘This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something’.
Somethings are better off unobserved and unanalyzed. Learn to find beauty in those types of things because if you do not, well, you only hold yourself back and I think it is about bloody time you gave yourself a chance to move one. That can only happen if you quit dwelling on the past. What is done is done. There is nothing we can do about it! The past is a dagger that thrusts one open. Don’t you think it is about time you let that wound heal ? Healing does not mean it is gone. After all you will be left with a prominent scar, to always remind you.
I apologize in advance though for what I am about to write. Let us talk about body image. It is rather sad that you cannot see yourself in a positive light (Who am I kidding? You are a virgo, If you ask me most virgos are pretty darn health conscious). There is nothing wrong with your body. Just do yourself a favor. Next time you look in the mirror, do not scrutinize your body. Just silence your thoughts. At times it is okay to do that. I think that your unsilenced thoughts get in your way, so you miss out on seeing the beauty of things.
This was my only way to let you know, I get it. I could not possibly confront you otherwise, you would have hid behind your thoughts. I will not dare ask you to calm down. I would much rather tell you to ‘be zen’. and live by this quote from one of your favourite books (Before I Fall, by Lauren Oliver). ” So many things become beautiful when you reall look”. (You hear that, minimize the analyzing)
Yours
Fellow blogger,cancer and lunatic/drama geek.
