Dear Hollywood,
How’s it going? Well, I can tell how it’s going, considering how much money you’re making at the moment. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 made $47 million just from foreign territories, and it hasn’t even been released in the US yet. Congratulations. I’m glad you’re making money. You spent a lot, and I know how much effort it takes to make a movie, plus you are a industry, so you are looking for a return on your big investment. I get that. That’s cool.
That does not mean I have to appreciate your content.
Fact is, Hollywood, I was in Wales for a couple of weeks recently, where I was very cut off from the outside world. I went to the cinema twice, to see Noah and Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and the rest of the time was spent watching mostly foreign and/or non-Hollywood DVDs I had bought from a shop in Bristol at very cheap prices. I found myself enjoying these a lot more than either of the films I saw at the cinema. So much, in fact, I didn’t even go to the cinema the first week I was back home.
I discovered new types of films and new industries and cultures I didn’t even know I liked. Seeing The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was a pretty great eye-opener, as the previous day had been spent watching Locke, a pretty excellent small British experimental character film, and A Bittersweet Life, a South Korean mobster movie that’s one of the best films I’ve ever seen. Seeing this made me realise how empty and shallow most of your product really is.
I bought a Cineworld Unlimited card back in January, and I think it’s safe to say I won’t be renewing it next year. My policy of seeing everything that came out on the basis that I had already paid for it was becoming soul-destroying, and yet it wasn’t The Love Punch, Rio 2, or any other crap that’s currently out in the cinemas that broke me, it was The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Why is that? I mean, it wasn’t that bad. It even had moments I enjoyed. No, my main problem with Amazing was that it couldn’t possibly live up to it’s name.
It’s a middle film, nothing more. It serves to set up the next film, which I find to be an unbearably cynical approach to filmmaking. Despite some funny lines and the obvious chemistry between Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield, the whole film felt more like a necessity than anything else. A simple means to an end to introduce the Green Goblin and the Rhino (who, despite appearing in most of the advertising maybe has roughly 8 minutes of screen time). Electro doesn’t have any bearing on the plot whatsoever and his inclusion in the film can only be put down to the fact that they needed a villain that the Sam Raimi films hadn’t already used.
I’m digressing. My problem here isn’t even particularly with Amazing, it’s with what it represents. It’s the quintessential example of a film that producers needed to get out the door to fund the proper film. It’s completely devoid of ideas or creativity perhaps because of its writers, schlock masters Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, responsible for such wonders as the first two Transformers films, Cowboys & Aliens, and the ridiculously overrated Star Trek reboots. They define the mediocre rubbish you, Hollywood, put out on a regular basis. Why do you keep giving these guys work? Well obviously, because their films sell, but I can’t help but not take that excuse very seriously anymore. Do you think Transcendence failed because it was about complex themes? No, it failed because it was utterly abysmal, and even the star power of Johnny Depp couldn’t save it.
I’m not going to pretend that you have much choice in this matter. It’s as much the public’s fault as it is yours. Name recognition is everything, and when genuinely good films like Ender’s Game and Dredd make jack in terms of money it becomes obvious that trying to change the way things are and ‘vote with your wallet’ is pointless. I understand why you are the way you are, Hollywood. It’s just your nature to be a money-centric, creativity bankrupt, anti-consumer, greedy, and utterly clueless industry. You can’t change it, it’s just your way.
I am done trying to change you, Hollywood. I reject you. Go off and do your own thing. You can exist in your own bubble of adaptations and sequels while I’ll go off and enjoy the films that look like they will appeal to me. I won’t begrudge anyone who enjoys the same thing you pump out week after week, that’s fine, that’s their choice, but I want no part of it. This is not out of any kind of snobbery or pretension (that new Godzilla movie still looks awesome), but out of a simple need to spend my time far more carefully and give myself more quality control.
I mean all manners of disrespect when I say that you, Hollywood, are the embodiment of Sturgeon’s Law.
“90% of everything is crap.”
Sounds right.
With regards,
James Haves
