Dear Men with Jobs (or Planning to Get Jobs),
I really don’t understand what some of you are doing with your clothes. Are you trying to sabotage your chances of 1.) Being taken seriously 2.) Ever getting a date or 3.) Both? Because I think you are.
Remember back in the 90s when it was cool for all your clothing to be big and baggy? Everyone looked 20 pounds heavier because you couldn’t tell what anyone was really shaped like under all those wrinkly folds of fabric.
This week’s “I’m still living in ’94” offender: coffee shop man. I was minding my business in a Capitol Hill coffee shop that’s dangerously close to some powerful people (one of whom drifted by me during my stay and please note his suit fit quite well). Coffee shop man caught my eye for his attractive features and well-groomed hair. But below the neck, he was one accessory short of being this guy:
His button-up shirt, a beautiful hunter green, was at least two sizes too big. His khaki pants, fine for a casual office, were too long and pooled up around his ankles. I could barely see his shoes for all the pants in the way, so I can’t judge them.
The worst part? His shirt was untucked. And for good reason, I guess, since had he tucked in the shirt he would have had a serious case of what the guys at local shirt-maker Hugh & Crye have dubbed “muffin top.” He might as well have put a belt around his waist and turned that gigantic shirt into a dress.
Dearest menfolk, we all want you to look good. We try to provide a little inspiration on this here blog, even if most of our audience is made up of fashion-forward women. We try to provide tips from the experts.
If you want to look like you’re drowning in your clothes, do it at home. On a Saturday. While you’re mowing the lawn. But if you’re grabbing a cuppa joe on a break from the office, dearest gentlemen, please don’t make me shake my head at you in sorrow. Tuck it in. Make sure it fits. Know your nearest tailor.
Be proud to get dressed in the morning.
Love,
The DCGF
