Dear Affair,
It has been several years now but I am lost, I am hurt, I am baffled. I thank you for being within my life for such a short space of time and for showing me what passion truly is, with the essence of one look into one another's eyes, however I also hate you for coming into my life, for chasing me desperately, for promising your love to me, for weeping over me, for pushing me into events I never desired and for breaking my heart more than you could ever imagine.
The time I spent with you, albeit we were both married, was exquisite. It made me feel alive, electric and I had the energy to be anything, anyone and feel a goddess. I desired to see you, feel you and hear your voice, as you stated you did with me.
I think perhaps in the end you were simply bored for this was the second full blown affair you had had, and I was one of many women you had slept with during your marriage, however you still maintained your love towards me even until the end.
You broke me, destroyed me and yet all I did was for you and your two children. I saved your children, I took away so much of me to avoid pain to your children, and yet still you cause me pain and push all hatred and blame onto me. Will you ever have any idea of what you did to me? How you hurt me? What you made me do for you?
You have continually portrayed your happy family life to me, your marriage which has blossomed after such an acute betrayal. Personally the love I held for you would not survive such a betrayal for I adored you so that it would make me sick to the core to know you had been with another. Our affair however has simply made your marriage come alive knowing you destroyed my life and knowing what you made me do.
I find your actions of allowing me to see your happiness putrid, you have no care, no understanding and evidently your love was a lie. I simply wanted you to know that you did destroy me and made me do an act abhorrent to me, but yes I love you, yes Im in love with you and no I have not forgotten because you pushed me to fall in love with you and you have lied ever since.
Whilst you have forgotten me, and what I did for you, I hope one day this will haunt you. I know it haunts me daily and you continue to torment me with your pictures. I was not pyschotic, I did not chase you, I did not force you in any shape or form and I did not lie as you did to me. I cant imagine what you have told your wife to be so happy with her now. I cant also imagine what kind of family and friends you have to simply believe you are such a strong, loving family man.
You and your children are happy yet what happened to me, to the person whom has also been forgotton to this? The extents to which you have lied have been phenomenal and yet I only went as far as I did because of your continuous lying.I simply however told her and did nothing more. You see contrary to what you think I never was going to say anything but you forced me to, I only wanted the truth from you.
I wont forget you and I wont forget our child because I am real, I have a soul and I was in love. You were none of these things, if you lied about your love for me then I have no words for you, I only know I am not like you, nor am I like your wife, my love always was and always has been real and that's why I suffer so intolerably.
Should you have forgotten me and all that was then you truely are unworthy of all, I thought I knew your core but maybe you dont have one. It is beyond me how you can live so happily with the hell you have given me. Will your children ever understand what I did for them?
