Hey Indiana,
Gurl. We’re writing because you’re about to do something really terrible in the name of freedom. Letting businesses deny service to anybody because of who they are is just plain wrong. We know you’re thinking, “Nobody asked for your opinion, San Francisco,” but it’s not like our city and your state don’t have a history. You gave us LGBT activist Cleve Jones, after all. (And Jim Jones, whom we can charitably overlook for now).
I know you've already taken shit from Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff and Mayor Ed Lee, both of whom said a big "hells no" to letting anyone even associated with them set foot in the Hoosier State, but please hear us out. There’s a lot wrong with enshrining discrimination against LGBT people, and not just because the world is mostly moving in the opposite direction. And why is it always the gays? The Bible is pretty clear about theft, so shouldn’t businesses band together to combat shoplifters? There’s probably some pious old lady pocketing AAA batteries even as we speak.
Logistically, how do you even think this is going to work? As Her Highness J.K. Rowling tweeted the other day, gay people look like regular people. Should Bruce Vilanch wander into a LensCrafters in Muncie browsing for new frames, I'm sure any homophobic opticians there might turn their backs on him, but they’re probably going to miss nine gays for every ten they reject. Talk about myopia, honey! (Especially Midwestern gays. I’ve been to drag queen bingo at Downtown Olly’s in Indianapolis, and it’s like normcore central in there. Good luck picking out the sodomites).
If you’re inclined to ignore San Francisco because we’re all liberal and shit, let’s turn to a legitimately crazy state for evidence that what you’re doing is fucked up. When Georgia’s state legislature proposed a “religious freedom” exemption to a non-discrimination bill, a Republican(!) stood up and pointed out the honest truth that it amounted to state-sponsored discrimination. Do you really want to be kookier than Georgia? Especially after that time you surprised everybody by voting for Obama?
Or just ask your own peeps. What do you think noted Indianan David Letterman thinks? Or Florence Henderson, aka Carol Brady? If Kurt Vonnegut and Michael Jackson were still alive (RIP), what would they say about their home state? How about Ryan White, native Hoosier and poster child for AIDS awareness? Are you doing his legacy proud?
If you still think treating certain groups as second-class citizens in 2015 is okay, we’re going to give the last word on the matter to the Beach Boys, who sang about a little place called Kokomo that sounded like a beacon of relaxation, tolerance, and drinks that come served in a pineapple. Not entirely sure they meant Kokomo, Indiana, but the point stands. Please reconsider what you’re doing, bitch, because that’s some hateful shit.
Much Love,
San Francisco
