This goes out to the next women that ever finds herself searching his name. I apologize way ahead of time, because I know how your stomach maybe knotting in all sorts. I'm sorry that you are just another one of his victims, probably VICTIM 4000000!
Ishmaeel, the gust of wind that blew in out of nowhere, swept you off your feet and before you could breathe a gush of air, you were inlove. He was bombarding your phone,blowing you up, texting, calling, the video calls, the 15 minute pop ins, the random im picking you up and the night drives.
It was all fun and games, everything was rosy and all his excuses was valid. He painted this picture perfect stories, so you will never for a moment doubt anything. Remember it's new you still finding your way, he hypes up your social media and bombs you with everything love emoticon there is. He shows up to take you to work in the mornings, in your lunch times and to pick u up in the evenings.
he gives you enough ammunition to hold on, to keep wanting more, to crave the affection for longer than the time he can. Your first few encounters will be fairly long but, once the excuses come, just know it's time for you to leave. You wont know these excuses, as it's casual, my kids, my parents, my work, my EX_WIFE!!! PLEASE, if you are anything less than a women, than skip this part.
The EXWIFE - in his version of things is made to be a psychopath, drug abusing, stalking crazy women, who just cant let go after so manyy years, and has all these gangster boyfiends etc. listen to his words as what he is telling you, his portraying what he actually is, just he is EXTREMELY WORST! This women, is the sweetest, fierce, loud but humble, no-fuckery bitch I have met. She is lovely, and all she wants is for him to find one women that would be a lady, and open doors for good relationships and tidings. She really is an awesome women, whom I have grown attached to even though the circumstances.
Ishmaeel, broke her, he was a fucken MONSTER, and the absurd things he has done to her and still continues to do, is SADISTIC. Yet, this strong women stands there, and speaks highly of him. Do not for a second, be fooled by the life he portrays. His first few spoils is to get you hooked, there nothng fancy there. When I have heard all the things this women has been through, and all the things she endured ONLINE, HUMILIATION, DEFAMATION OF CHRACTER, and times when all he could've have done was give her a good word of encouragement INSTEAD he broke her further. I would not be proud to be a lady to that man.
I was disgusted to the core, as I believed there must be something wrong with me, Infact there were another 5 of me complaining as well. Even after all the abuse you put that women through she protected you with everything she has. I can see in her eyes, that she will never love again because of the things ou put her through, but im going to tell you, SHE IS ONE CLEVER women...and as they say through all the storms they rainbow exists, SHE IS THE RAINBOW!
The boy games you play, throwing your ego in the air, will come to an end. You may be a NARCISSIST, so you dont have emotions, but all your KARMA, is going to be what you sit with in the end. The evil you do, lord have mercy on you, bcz you are on person who will either end up marrying an UGLY bitch for you insurance or the loneliest person.
Everything you talk and do, thinking you have a fathers cape on, you will feel, your mind utters such horrible things that I sit here and want to blow your brains out. I have never met anyone who does what you do, and then can lie with a straight face, or put up a good act about it. Its absurd and beyond me.
know what you’re thinking right now-crazy ex-wife meets up with sidechickk and now forming bonds. And jealous. And sad. And I don’t blame you, but, you would be wrong. My world stopped turning because I was overcome with fear for you. When I saw how quickly he was up in your comments, and the it wasnt long before you occupied the seat now, the one he opens and close the door for like a gentle man he will never be.
You look so innocent. Your smile looks genuine, kind. You seem happy. I recognize your smile and that picture because it was mine a not to long ago, standing next to the man you are now, probably thinking the same happy thoughts. And I can’t express to you how much I apologize to you for it.
You see, my that monster is not who he’s making himself out to be in this very moment. He is not the charming, happy, loving, affectionate person who you believe that you have found. I’m sure he has told you that he’s divorced (and some not-so-pretty “things” about why things just didnt work out or why he never dated), and maybe even a little bit of his family history, and maybe even a few other quips of smaller things in his life that he has “overcome”, enough to make you feel badly for him, proud of him for where he is today, and even a little lucky for being with someone who has been through what he has. He is a broken bird who which you instinctively want to save, but my darling girl, you simply cannot.
He will eventually stop smiling. He will eventually stop the affection. All of a sudden he will go from perfectly calm to a complete irrational hurricane in a matter of seconds-and it will be all your fault. He will tell you he’s done with you at least a dozen times in those moments yet doesn't mean it, but for your own sake, I hope that you do. He will tell you it’s because of women like you that he doesnt want to date, or because of the million boys you follow,or bcz you ugly tattoos is not cool, or because of the life that’s been handed to him. He will list off all of the reasons for why he is the way he is as justification. He will tell you it will never happen again, but it will. And then those fits of verbal and emotional warfare turn into something much, much worse. And it costs your entire existence as the human being you are right now.
You will change, not on purpose, and not really knowingly, but that’s what the professional abusers do. They get you to change and turn into who they want you to be without you even knowing it. And you, my dear, are with not only a professional, but a master. Before you know it, you won’t speak to your family as often. Your friends will become a seemingly distant memory. Your life, as you know it, will become only him. I’m sure your family is a loving, supportive group of people, but you werent allowed to tell anyone coz ya'll not even together. This is what he does, to every women, it's a constant back and fourth, to keep you hooked on him for him to use you. He will never take you around his family, if he does its the minions that cheer him and his deceitful ways on. Let me make this clear: he does not want to be a man and uses all the tacktics as an excuse. HE DOESNT LIKE RESPONSIBILITY. He had (and has) a wonderful family that he CHOSE to do the things he did to, not the other way around. He had all the love and support and sunshine and rainbows and butterflies and puppies that anyone could ever ask for-and it still wasn't good enough. I’m sorry, but you and your family will never be good enough. Not for this type of man. Mine is still healing from him as well.
Words from the EX:
The truth about this man is simple: he does not know how to love. He believes in a love and a life that isn't real, and therefore, he will never truly be happy. But he does not want happiness, as happiness involves relationships, and unions,and someone with routines and problems, and that is something he lacks hugely. I can sit here and name every horrible thing that occurred throughout our relationship and marriage, but I don’t think you want to hear it, and frankly I have worked extremely hard to stop reliving it. But it’s an everyday fight for me. The wounds on my body have healed, but the scars that have remained are deep.
So I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that I allowed him to believe that what he was doing to me was right for as long as I did, because now he very well could do this to you. Please understand I endured it for the sake of my kids,I’m sorry that his lies and his games were so convincing that I wholeheartedly believed him, because now he thinks they are bulletproof. I’m sorry I didn't fight harder to have something be done, instead of just finding the strength to leave, I wish I could done both. I’m sorry I let this man be free to find you.
You may still be thinking that this is all just a vindictive move against him, and that’s okay. I get it. I didn't want to listen to it either when I was you. But you have to know that I have nothing to gain from this. My life is amazing, it’s peaceful, and it’s complete. I have my family back, I am in a relationship that has shown me what true love actually is, and I even just bought a new car (one I was told I would never be “allowed” to buy). I have nothing to gain from you leaving my ex-husband.
But you do.
You get to keep that beautiful smile of yours. You get to have a future that doesn't include worrying if he’s really where he says he is. Or with who he says he’s with. Or if you’re good enough. Or if he really meant to say the things he did. Or above all, if your night will end in variations of happiness, or with your body on the floor. You get to remain you, scar-free, and happy. I have worked tirelessly to get back to the human I was before him, and while I know I’m forever changed, having my sense of person back has been the best feeling I could ask for-and exactly why I don’t want you to ever lose it in the first place. And I can promise you, you are worth that.
I never wanted to know who his next victim was. I never wanted to know the next woman who would have to go through even an ounce of what I did. I never wanted to have to worry or care about the next one, as I’m still and will always be healing myself.
And that’s why I never wanted to see your face.
