In 2014, while you were praying to God to be whole, He also probably challenged me in a very unusual or unique way. At that time I was looking for some things, some knowledge or (if you prefer) information on the existence or not of certain possibilities. I was so focused on these researches that one day suddenly (it was late 2013, or early 2014 I don't remember) a sort of voice, like a sixth sense "spoke in my head" (but I had more the feeling that it was really a superior being and not just my sixth sense) and told me that there were more important things in a man's life than dealing with things I most likely would never find. However, I was so determined to continue on my path that I thought (in order to answer to Him) that even if I had found the best woman in the world perfectly suited to me, I never would have quit my researches, (it was the first thing that came to my mind ). I remember laughing at him as ridiculous. Once again I had the feeling that He (or my sixth sense) said something like this: <well, we'll see>. After some time, when I had forgotten about these episodes, in August 2014 I met you. Don't think it was some kind of love at first sight: you can't imagine the number of times I had to enter your room to have even a minimum of interest. It was really like a force was pushing me towards you. Against all statistic, I strangely always ended up "in your world". In the final period of August and beginning of September again the same voice in my head (by now I frequented your room with some regularity, as if I was completely hypnotized and blocked, I cannot deny), it suggested to me that I had to find out your real name in order to understand many things. Do you remember how many times I asked you for your real name? And how many times have you answered me with the fake Katy / Katherine? Do you remember? I even asked you if you prayed to God for something. I asked this question precisely because I had the feeling that a supernatural force wanted me to "stick" to you. What you may really not know are all the failed attempts to get out of your room to try not to come back in again. These failed attempts more or less coincide roughly with the random <see you tomorrow> that seemed so strange to you. Well now you know why. When I found out your real name in mid-November, it all became clear to me. God had challenged me exactly where I felt strongest (it is said that he always does this). The way to figure this out was the meaning of your real name. It's complicated and there is no need to explain it to you (possibly it only concerns me and God). The voice in my head spoke to me for the last time: to find everything I was looking for before I met you, I would have to give up on you. And that's what I did. Anything that seemed strange to you was the result of my internal struggle between the side that wanted to surrender to this sort of "God-given challenge" and the side that didn't accept all of this and just wanted to forget you in order to continue its research. That's why I've never really gone all the way with you. And I want to be honest by saying that even your real name has very strong responsibilities in all of this. Obviously it's not your fault, but I really, really, really couldn't accept it. You spoken about destiny, i spoke about choice: and so, in a certain sense, I chose to "defeat" God. I think I should have won the challenge because, strangely (but not so much at the end), I started to find everything I was looking for only after September 2016. Does that period mean anything to you? Do you remember the letter of June 2018? As a last thing, before goodbyes, allow me to ask you for some clarification: why "life sentence"? Do you want me to show you mine, a real ones? Maybe am i somehow preventing you from living your life happily with your husband and children? Am I causing you some trouble that I'm not even aware of causing you? Am I still "present" in your life? Now, really, you know all the answers, all the truth, provided you want to accept them...
