Dear Maroon 5,
Hi. You don’t know me, but I know you. Well, not directly. I’ve been a fan for years, though. Your songs were my middle school jams, and I was always Team Adam when I watched “The Voice.” I even did a project over you guys for my seventh grade Computers class. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.
I wish I could say I was still a fan, but things have changed. It all started around when you released “Payphone.” My hopes were high for your next album … until I heard “One More Night.” I remember thinking that this was not the Maroon 5 I used to be obsessed with, but instead just another band who can make cookie-cutter pop music. But, I didn’t lose all hope. I listened to “Daylight,” and I was still unimpressed. “Love Somebody” came along, and the deal was all but...
Music
Dear Miley,
I’m not really sure why you feel the need to keep stabbing any existing memory of “Hannah Montana” in the heart. We got it a few years ago when you performed “Party in the USA” and used the pole on an ice cream cart as a stripper pole. We got it again—over and over—with the various photo spreads with you showing off body parts, grabbing your crotch— and the videos that are your own version of “Girls Gone Wild.” Move over, Joe Francis. And we got it again last night in your Video Music Award stripper act performance.
You pretty much buried Hannah Montana for good after the last movie in 2010 (I know, it’s hard to believe it hasn’t been way longer than that), and you can stop dedicating every minute to stomping on her grave now. We got it. You are never, ever getting...
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Dear Mr. Pereleman,
A couple of months ago I had the great fortune of scoring 2nd row tickets to see one of my favorite performers, one Ian Anderson, lead singer and driving force behind the great band Jethro Tull. This was perhaps the fifteenth time I have seen him in concert, and in the past I’ve taken advantage of backstage passes to have a long and hilarious conversation with him.
I’ve notice that one thing he always mentions in his between song monologue is the famous concert in 1970 when Tull played Carnegie Hall. It was obviously a highlight in his long career, and if you don’t know the performance I recommend that you check it out. Here’s a little taste. I smiled knowingly when he mentioned it this last time I saw him because I, too, have had the chance to stride onto the...
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Madame Mayor,
I was one of the many residents of our lovely town who applauded your decision to allow the Horizon Festival to take place here and looked forward to the economic impact you said it would have on our quaint little hamlet.
Unfortunately, I believe the Horizon Festival has gotten a little out of control and may not fit the needs of our community. I shall enumerate my complaints below, because they are many, but allow me to start with my biggest qualm.
You've promoted this event as a "Three-day festival of speed and music" and we are, by my count, now entering our 87th day of racing. Also, the days have grown eerily shorter. The sun goes down roughly every 45 minutes.
Why is this happening to us!?! When will this sorcery end!?! Please bring back the sun!!!
I pay...
2,963
Dear Portland,
In the last month, your police department and fire marshal's office have united to target and preemptively silence artists—primarily minority artists—in your city. This isn’t conspiracy theory or second-hand gossip: this is repeated and overt action, paid for by your tax dollars, on behalf of the city of Portland. Shows at small, struggling venues like Blue Monk and Kelly’s Olympian have had their capacities drastically reduced in the days or even hours before local hip-hop shows, and officers have stood watch both inside and outside the venues to intimidate artists and show-goers.
These actions have not come in response to violent incidents or code violations at shows—there have been no accusations, that we’re aware of, leveled at these venues or artists—and they are...
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Dear Mr. Gore and Mr. Wall,
I am writing to ask you to do the one thing that will do the most good for the planet and the majority of its inhabitants: not serve meat or dairy products at Live Earth 2015. I don't mean offering a vegan option-I mean not serving animal products at all. Otherwise, the event will make no sense-it'll be "greenwashing." Serving meat and dairy products at an event to combat climate change is like selling pistols at a gun-control rally. Your responsibility is to alert people to a crisis, not sell out to the vendors responsible for it.
Not only is it possible for venues to provide a 100 percent meat-free menu-as is done now at every concert venue in which I perform, including Madison Square Garden, where I have a show at the end of June-it's also a moral duty...
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Dear Mr. Gore and Mr. Wall,
I am writing to ask you to do the one thing that will do the most good for the planet and the majority of its inhabitants: not serve meat or dairy products at Live Earth 2015. I don't mean offering a vegan option-I mean not serving animal products at all. Otherwise, the event will make no sense-it'll be "greenwashing." Serving meat and dairy products at an event to combat climate change is like selling pistols at a gun-control rally. Your responsibility is to alert people to a crisis, not sell out to the vendors responsible for it.
Not only is it possible for venues to provide a 100 percent meat-free menu-as is done now at every concert venue in which I perform, including Madison Square Garden, where I have a show at the end of June-it's also a moral duty...
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Dear Kelly,
While I wish you had reached out to me personally, as the head of the Born This Way foundation with my mother Cynthia, we would like to respond. Everyday, through my music and public voice, I choose to be positive and work towards a kinder and braver world with our community of followers. I encourage them to ignore criticism, stand up to bullies, know their own value and see that we are all the same and no one person is worth more than another. I know I’m perceived as a wild child, but in reality I am woman that deeply cares for humanity. I have empathy for you Kelly, but I feel it culturally important to note that you have chosen a less compassionate path. Your work on E! with the Fashion Police is rooted in criticism, judgment, and rating people's beauty against one...
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Dear Chris Bryant MP,
You classist gimp. I happened to go to a boarding school. No one helped me at boarding school to get into the music business. I bought my first guitar with money I saved from holiday jobs (sandwich packing!). I was taught the only four chords I know by a friend.
No one at school had ANY knowledge or contacts in the music business, and I was expected to become a soldier or a lawyer or perhaps a stockbroker. So alien was it, that people laughed at the idea of me going into the music business, and certainly no one was of any use. In the army, again, people thought it was a mad idea.
None of them knew anyone in the business either. And when I left the army, going against everyone’s advice, EVERYONE I met in the British music industry told me there was no way it...
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Hi Jon,
When my wife—a huge and long-time Bon Jovi fan—asked me to spend over $300 for two floor seat tickets to your Valentine’s Day show in Toronto, there were two reasons that I said yes. First, I really love my wife, and would do almost anything for her. Second, I looked through my iTunes collection and realized that there were more good Bon Jovi songs inside than there were for most of the musicians I “love.” Once my wife assured me that your concerts focus mostly on the songs I liked, I plunked down the cash for the seats, and spent the next four months watching my wife smile every time we discussed Valentine’s Day.
To be totally honest with you, the concert was great. We both had a lot of fun, snapped pictures and video clips from the floor, and told our friends and family...
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