Movies

Dear Censor Board, How are you doing? I hope you are recovering well from the sudden internal revamp that was caused by the identity crisis faced by some previous members of yours. I don’t blame them for feeling sidelined as these days a lot of unofficial organisations are doing your job. We have political and religious groups banning films free of cost. We as filmmakers don’t have to pay any processing fees to them, nor do we have to wait in the long queues in order to get moral lessons from these esteemed people. What more, we don’t even have to show them our films. They have a great censory perception (pun intended) as they can decide if a film is bad or dangerous for a society without even viewing it! They are definitely doing a far better and efficient job of protecting our...
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Dear Werner Herzog, I don’t know if you seen it yet, but I just read this New York Times article about James Cameron—a popular Canadian film director who makes multimillion dollar movie parables for concerned tweens—traveling to the Amazon to advocate on behalf of an indigenous tribe facing devastation from a proposed dam. You see, the scenario here—in which corporate interests trump the value of the natural world—is similar to Mr. Cameron’s latest edutainment movie show, The Avatars. And while I think Mr. Cameron is generally a big bag of hot wind, I have to admire him for following through on the ideas in his art. And this is where you come in. I think it would be really cool if you followed Mr. Cameron around with a camera, filming all of his earnest efforts to save the...
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Dear Gary Marshall and Walt Disney Pictures: We, the women of http://www.slatebreakers.com, recently spent an evening watching your 2001 film, The Princess Diaries in honor of our Meg Cabot Theme Week celebration. Although we very much enjoyed your charming film (despite the occasionally misguided adaptation), we have some questions, and some observations. Why, when we put in the DVD, does a delicate flower blossom to reveal Anne Hathaway’s face on the disc menu? Is this a Georgia O’Keefe painting? Why is this movie set in San Francisco? Seriously, we pondered this all evening and cannot figure out why San Francisco makes a better setting than New York. Is it the hills? The bridge in the background? Was it just so Hector Elizondo could make that totally awful gay joke about the...
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Dear How I Met Your Mother, First of all, let me say that I’m a huge fan. You were one of the few shows that I was really into where I watched from the Pilot all the way through to the Finale without getting bored. I hope this doesn’t sound too creepy, but I’m actually kind of lost on Monday nights now without you. That’s something I can’t even say about The X-Files. It’s one of my favorite shows, but I lost interest around Season 8, and I haven’t even seen all of Season 9, but I digress. HIMYM – may I call you HIMYM? Through nine long years you brought so much to us, the viewers, that I don’t think a mere “Thank You” is enough. When you premiered in 2005, it was not the best time to be a sitcom. Half hour shows were popping up left and right, and getting shot down just as easily. I...
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Dear Lucasfilm, If you look at social media today you may notice the #JoeJohnstonForStarWars hash tag being used by Star Wars fans. The reason for this is the word that came out last night that the second Star Wars Anthology would focus on Boba Fett. As Joe Johnston is considered by many to be the father of Boba Fett, and he even wanted to make a Fett movie in the past, fans are rallying to his side to replace the departing Josh Trank on the movie. Johnston has some great movies to his credit as a director, and I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that. From smaller movies such as October Sky to the more effects-heavy action films such as The Rocketeer and Captain America: The First Avenger, he’s cut from the same cloth as those who made Star Wars what it is. My love for The...
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Dear Clarence, At the outset, please forgive me if this letter seems a bit disjointed. I’ve never written an angel before, so I’m a bit nervous! What’s the occasion of this, my very first “Angel” letter? I realize it’s a tad tardy, but it’s regarding the movie that made you famous: Frank Capra’s iconic film It’s a Wonderful Life. I’ve watched it for nearly every year I’ve been alive, and have even passed the tradition on to my growing children. Indeed, for much—perhaps even the majority?—of the United States (even Christians) Christmas is nearly synonymous with the movie. A Christmas passing without watching it? Unthinkable! Just recalling that famous line by one of the Bailey girls, “Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings!” gets me all misty-eyed. After all, you got...
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Dear John, Can I call you John? You seem like the sort of fellow who wouldn’t mind taking things casually right from the get-go. I’ll bet you even ask assistants and bellhops who call you “Mr. Cusack” to call you “John” instead. Make ’em feel real comfortable, like you’re a swell guy who they could grab a beer with if you both had the time. Anyhow, that’s not why I’m writing this letter. I’m writing this letter because I just saw the trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine 2, and I’d be lying if I said I weren’t insanely, unnecessarily excited. Four years of waiting, finally almost over. But you know what I didn’t see in that trailer? You, John. I didn’t see you. In case it’s not already apparent from the fact that I’m writing you this letter, I’m something of a fan of yours. Loved High...
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Hi, I am but a mere punter. I stump up my cash, I go and see films, I buy the DVDs, and I then jabber on about them until my friends decide it's time to go and find new friends instead. And I passionately believe that there are few relaxing pleasures in life quite like a good, rock-solid action movie. Over the course of my lifetime, I've been spoilt by an abundance of action-packed movies that I watch, re-watch and watch again. Die Hard, Aliens, Shoot 'Em Up, Con Air, Armageddon, Crank, Starship Troopers, Bourne, Mission: Impossible, Casino Royale – I could, quite literally, babble on forever, and keep the list going for some time yet. Ask my ex-friends. However, in recent years, there's been an increasing trend towards, what seems to me, a bit of madness in the editing suite...
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Dear Winona You don't know me but I'd like to thank you for not only starring in Heathers and Beetlejuice but also for being the catalyst that broadened my cinematic and musical horizons. On Tuesday evening I'm introducing Night on Earth at the film club I run with a friend in North London. I first saw Jim Jarmusch's film at the Phoenix Cinema in Oxford when it came out in 1992 purely because you were in it. I was 15 at the time and pretty well obsessed with you. That picture at the top of this page? That was on my wall. I was a committed teenage film geek back then. Little has changed. I first heard about Night on Earth because I saw you on the cover of Sight...
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Dear Bollywood Tweeple I'm really glad that some of you have stood by the actress, your friend, in a situation that warrants support at a time like this. Of course, the news item was of an old clip, taken from an unflattering angle and pushed as "news" since the actress was in the news for her wonderful performance in Finding Fanny. While the portal was just "creating news" to be in the news, I believe it went overboard in sensationalizing the issue. Deepika Padukone has felt hurt and she has every right to express the exact way she feels at being demeaned in a manner like this. I salute her guts for taking on the media. But what I really don't understand is why some of you have so selectively taken a stance for Deepika and have slammed the said publication? Just a few...
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