Dear Sledge Hockey Clubs, Players, Officials, Volunteers and Partners.
As you may know on Saturday 6th October the BSHA hosted a meeting to discuss the league structure for 2013 to which all current and potential clubs were invited. The meeting was attended by representatives from current clubs, emerging clubs, the current GB coach, directors of the BSHA and our friends from Cadbury.
The meeting was positive and enabled us to set a direction which we believe will benefit all involved in our sport.
The following approach to the 2013 league programme was agreed following a full discussion of the practicalities facing the sport and particularly with a view to increasing involvement and providing the best environment for development of the sport. It is accepted that there remains a number...
Lifestyle
Dear Steven,
I suspect like me you are fed up with people asking if we are related despite the fact that our names are spelt differently but we will just have to live with this.
Great goal last night. However I would suggest that you change your training regime so that you do your shooting practice at the beginning of the session and not at the end. You are actually allowed to score in the first half and although I understand and appreciate that by leaving scoring to the last possible moment you increase the enjoyment of neutral fans by keeping the game on a knife edge.
However since we have a knife amnesty at the moment this is another knife edge that we would be happy to be handed in.
I know from your F.A. Cup final performance that you are keen to give the fans value for...
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Dear Owner/Trainer,
We at Betfair are delighted that an agreement was reached in relation to the 51st Levy Scheme and that our guaranteed Levy contribution of £6.5m, a £500,000 increase on our contribution for the 50th Scheme, assisted in the resolution.
Our £6.5m is not a figure plucked from the air but rather an estimate of the amount that we would have to pay if our betting exchange was still licensed in the UK (i.e. 10.75% of gross profits from our revenues from UK customers betting on British horseracing).
It has also been helpful to have an underpinned guarantee of £46m from the betting shop business of the big three bookmakers.
The BHA expressed its disappointment with the projected yield of £72.4m, having argued for a projected yield of between £73.7m and £80.8m. In other...
5,861
Dear Fashion, Style, and Clothing Industries,
You are doing it wrong.
There may have been a time when presenting customers with an idealized, scrubbed, socially-sanctioned, mind-blowingly narrow version of beauty and fashionability sold stuff, but I’m here to tell you that time has passed. Long passed. You are operating under the assumption that your outdated version of “aspirational images” are motivating consumer actions. They may be squeaking by for the time being, it’s true. But people have learned to resent images and messaging designed to make them feel inferior or excluded. People have begun to rebel against the notion that there is one kind of beauty. People have had enough of the insultingly racist, classist, ageist, sizeist bullshit that you’ve been shoving at us for...
2,605
Dear Fashion Industry,
I’ve been meaning to write ever since that big wedding that took place in London this past spring, and then as various bits and bobs of fashion flotsam and jetsam have wandered across my heat-blurred summer vision, but, well, events overcame me. Life, and your whatnot. But finally, here we are, tete-a-tete. Did you miss me, Fashion Industry? I hope so!
Now, I’m sure this isn’t usually done, but I want to open my missive with a little snippet from the American Heritage Dictionary, unabridged – to wit:
nude adj. – Having no clothing; naked.
I bring this to your attention, Fashion Industry, because I have begun to suspect that you don’t possess this important linguistic nugget of information. “Nude” means “no clothes on” — and evidence suggests that either...
6,997
Dear Morons,
I’m sorry, did that start a bit harsh? You’re probably right. How rude of me. Let’s try that again.
Dear Human Filth,
What, still too much? Bah, there’s no making some assholes happy, that’s for sure. Let’s just continue on.
Dear Disgusting Representation of Mankind,
It must be very hard for you, to turn on your cable television every night in search of the most basic information which is available on multiple platforms. Obviously your desire to sexualize and/or actively comment on the wardrobe of others cannot be satisfied by the internet alone. Has anyone told you about porn sites yet? Boy, are you in for an exhaustive, carpal-tunnel inducing time!
But I digress. Of course it is disgusting when a woman, who is actively assisting the continuation of the...
3,100
Dear Brain,
Jet-lag is a funny thing, isn't it Brain? Our body is in Lyon, France, yet you, for some reason, are still in the Bay Area of California, and I heard you when you said you'd be damned if you'll synchronize for my sake, despite my asking nicely. "Bwahahahaha!" I hear you laugh the evil-nemesis laugh of mad scientists as I fade into unconsciousness at embarrassingly early points in the day, and on the bus as I'm about to miss my stop. Even when I wake up (at 4-6 am, by the way), I still feel groggy because you've convinced our body that it's really only 9 pm and that I should be turning in soon. WHY DO YOU DO THIS. Too tired to be awake, too awake to be tired, I end up groggily and irately watching episodes of Bones until its time to get ready for work. Is this all...
3,401
Dear Manager @ Melrose Avenue,
I’m writing to say thank you because doing business with you has been a truly enlightening – and in fact educational experience, for our whole family. You see, in December, my eldest daughter – aged 16 – came to your store and purchased a gorgeous embroidered rayon playsuit for her younger sister as a Christmas present. My daughter spent money she had worked hard for, and thought carefully about what her little sister may have liked.
The playsuit was in fact a perfect choice! I myself was very impressed with the cut, design and materials of this piece – especially having been bought from an inexpensive, mass-produced, non-designer store such as yours. However, after my younger daughter had worn it a few times, she washed it – according to the instructions...
2,634
Dear January,
First of all, let me start this letter off by saying I’m already mad at you because I fully intended to write this letter to Anne Hathaway, who pretty much wore a bodice and a see-through slip to the 2013 Screen Actors Guild Awards tonight. Maybe she wanted to prove that she does actually wear underwear after pulling a Britney/Lindsay/Paris at the Les Miserables premiere, where she went commando but nevertheless managed to strap up her dominatrix boots and throw on her handy garbage bag. Unfortunately, I’m stuck writing this to everyone’s least favorite emotionally stunted suburban housewife because you came to the SAGs looking like Carlisle Cullen.
(Don’t worry, though – there’s still a picture of Anne at the Les Mis premiere at the end of this letter. I just couldn’t...
2,516
Dearest Bud,
I feel I can begin my open diatribe that way considering how much money I have spent on your sport and the anguish your minions have caused me with the ever-constant scandals in this hallowed game of baseball. However, I have a duty as a PR professional to let you know that MLB has a serious image issue to handle and ignoring it would be detrimental to the purists out there in the cheap seats.
With the Biogenesis scandal that has taken over the sporting headlines, I believe it's time you stick your foot in the behind of your cracked PR team and make them get to work. From the Andro in the locker of Mark McGwire to the finger wagging of Rafael Palmeiro to "A-Roid" and his hijinks, you, sir, have a serious image problem. I get it — you are facing a crossroads. On one...
2,300