Will I Ever?

Subject: Will I Ever?
From: Almost 12
Date: 18 Mar 2018

Will I ever? will I ever be? will I ever be able to move on?

Almost 12 years ago, I met you.. no, I saw you. We didn't speak, but you captivated me. It was me liking you.. crush.. to admiration.. to love! Why did I let my feelings grow? When did I fell in love with you? I don't know!

The was never an us, I can't even claim that you're my friend. You know me & I love you.. That's how it was (or is?).

We were apart for a very long time... was it 7years? or 8? but why can't I forget you?! why can't I unlove you?! why can't I have another you?! why?!? when will I ever be able to move on from you..

Looking back, I have several what ifs.. but those are ages ago! but those memories are still very clear in my mind.. those thoughts kept haunting me. However, I don't have any option now.. but to move on. I know you are back in town, but not back in my life.. because you were never there. Or so you thought.. You were there, maybe you just didn't know it. You are a part of me! You still are...

I want to move on, I wan't to forget about you...but... I want you in my life, I want you by my side! See??? I am torn.. but my heart is fully into you. Urgh!!! I don't know anymore..