Being on a never-ending quest to find the one with whom you’ll build an unbreakable bond and spend the rest of your life can be a difficult, tiring and sometimes seemingly impossible endeavor. But why does it often get so stressful? Are you truly doomed to spend the rest of your life alone or could the culprit be the endless fairytales and love stories we were fed from an early age that gave us an unrealistic idea and expectation of what a healthy and loving relationship should actually be? From my personal dating experience, every relationship is an entirely unique adventure, but they all have one thing in common – they are two-way streets that require both partners to meet in the middle in order to achieve success.
Firstly, it’s essential to do some introspection and realize whether you are an established, secure and confident person who is actually ready to be in a healthy relationship. One of the biggest issues I had in previous relationships, before I worked on bettering myself, is the fact that I tried to change people without even realizing it. Every little quirk and personality trait I didn’t particularly love, I tried to improve and mould into the imagined picture of an ideal partner. But what I didn’t understand then is that what I was trying to change about my partner were exactly the things I hated the most about myself. I couldn’t stand being told what to do, yet I always bossed them around; I needed to win every argument, and sulked when things didn’t go my way. The truth is, I wasn’t ready for open and honest conversations, understanding, and compromise, which ended up destroying relationships with great potential. However, no relationship can succeed without a middle ground.
Secondly, you need to realize that intimacy is both physical and emotional; if one of these aspects is missing from a relationship, then it’s bound to fall apart. This is another big challenge I faced in several of my previous relationships. While I focused on communication, understanding and love, and building a healthy emotional bond, I didn’t realize just how important the physical aspect of my relationships is, as that’s truly the thing that separates a friend from a partner. I thought that sex is just a natural thing that happens between two people in a relationship, and that it’s bound to be a great experience, as long as the emotional connection is there. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. A healthy sex life also requires communication – you and your partner need to know how to tell each other what you like and enjoy in order to experience pleasure together and build a deeper connection. Even more importantly, you need to keep the spark alive by experimenting in the bedroom, regardless of how long you are together, whether that means changing up positions, trying out new locations or even incorporating exciting sex toys into your intimate life to increase pleasure and keep the passion going.
Thirdly, just how learning to navigate through conflict and misunderstanding with healthy conversation and compromise is crucial for building a strong relationship, so is listening to your partner and being their biggest support. Listening to what your partner has to say, but also reading their body language when they don’t say anything at all, acknowledging their feelings, and doing your best to understand them is not only going to improve your communication, but also help build mutual love and respect, and even lead to less conflict down the road. Then, after every healthy conversation, it’s essential to offer emotional support, give advice when it’s needed or asked for, and simply be a calming and comforting presence, as sometimes that’s all that’s needed in order to build a strong, unbreakable bond. Of course, this should go both ways in any relationship, and you should require the same of every partner you have, if you want to grow and improve as a couple.
Finally, it’s incredibly important to understand that every relationship is a give and take situation. I can’t even begin to describe how many times the women I knew entered a relationship with the notion that everything has to ball down to the man, ultimately putting too much pressure on him, and too much strain on the relationship. However, the truth is quite simple, and it might even be the key to a healthy, strong and successful relationship – you should treat your partner with the same love, care, respect, kindness and understanding you would like to receive in return, as it’s the only way to ensure you are truly appreciated in every relationship you enter.
In conclusion, romantic relationships aren’t competitions that have a winning and a losing side. They are joint efforts that require positive lifestyle, communication, understanding, love and intimacy in order to succeed and thrive; and that is an essential truth I wish every woman knew about relationships.
