Hi,
I hope Khang has recovered well.
I have been typing and deleting for the past few days. Honestly, I don't know what to say. How are you? Not a day goes by that I have stopped thinking about you.
I guess it's true that sometimes, the most beautiful things in life doesn't last. I met you in the most unexpected way and I lost you just the same. I know I shouldn't have expected too much from the start but what could I do? You are something beyond amazing.
It hurts too much but I think I will be okay. It may take time, but i'll get there, right? For once I believed to be, because you taught me to -- always believe in what I can do. You may not realize, you saved me from something inconsolable. Thank you for being there, in my most darkest time and for actually lifting me up. Quite impossible that I felt this way for you since we haven't met in person, but it really happened. You really are a superman.
Nights and nights I have kept thinking where did I go wrong, is it because I left Philippines? To tell you, you were the only person who believed and supported me in my new life here in the Middle East. Is it because we haven't had enough time to talk? Or maybe because I am moody? Do I annoy you that much? Probably you got tired of wasting time on someone who has been breaking down little by little. I don't know. I want answers, even just a word from you, anything I will take it. It will put my mind to rest. I can't force you I know, yet i thought i'd like to let you know.
You may be at peace without me right now, I am not putting words in your mouth. In case you are, I am happy for that. I will always be happy for you. Always.
Have you been happy for even just once in that 6 months? If you ask me, my answer would be limitless. I can't believe too, I guess it's just it.
I am praying this e-mail will get to you since this is the only way I know to reach you.
I am sorry, Christopher. I pray you still want me in your tent. Or i can camp outside, it doesn't matter.
This pain is unbearable, please come back :'(
Thinking about you,
Jensen
