Para sa best friend ko (To my best friend)

Subject: Para sa best friend ko (To my best friend)
From: A
Date: 29 Oct 2018

Sometimes I wonder why I frown or cry at the thought that I miss you, and you don’t know it. And that I know, you don’t feel the same.

I used to be sad like this before. Yung lungkot na nagsasabing sana maalala mo din ako. Sana mapasaya mo ko ulit.

You were there when I couldn’t even pick myself up. And it’s pretty ironic that I find myself a mess now that you aren’t around.

It’s a funny life after all.
To love and not be loved in return.
And then you just cry and cry, until your heart gets tired, and until you fall asleep.

It’s even funnier how love screws me all over again. Same cycle, same process.

The attention I want you to give me, you keep giving to someone else. I thought I’m not capable of loathing a stranger, yet I have managed to. Kasi naiinggit ako. Kasi alam kong di mo talaga kayang ibigay sakin. Kasi alam kong di ko matatanggap.

Isn’t it sad? That for me to keep you, I also have to keep my distance from you.
How could I see you as the person who completes my day, when you only see me as another blanket— useful when the season permits you to?

I find it very difficult to cut you off but that’s the only way I could get a hold of myself. I just really hope this decision would help me feel better, and to help you be at your best... with her.

I’m hoping that ‘this’ is the sacrifice that will eventually pay off. Thank you, for being my best friend, and the man I’m currently admiring. Salamat kasi tinulungan mo kong mabuo ulit, pero di ko hahayaang ikaw naman ang sumira sa puso kong inaayos ko pa din.