As a woman from as far back as I can remember, I've believed in love. The fairy-tale. I've had my heart broken. It's been lied to & used. It's been walked on by men who wern't sorry. Yet, still, I've always known, the man who was made for me was out there. Some call it fate, destiny, a soul mate, a twin flame ... but no matter what I have never given up. I knew that I had yet to look into the eyes of THE ONE. I want to address you the "woman" who broke the heart of my boyfriend. I've known my boyfriend for years. Literally. Since Jr. High I've known who he was. While our paths rarely crossed back then, I've always thought of him with such a fondness. Now some 25 plus years later I find my self starting over, with him, after the demise of a 20 year marriage. My letter today is to you, the woman who hurt him. I need to say from the beginning, it's been a struggle to get this man to let me in. What you did to the heart of such a special man is honestly incomprehensible. I don't "get" women as yourself. Thankfully. I guess if I did, I'd be like you. This man has honestly the kindest heart I have ever seen. He'll go without to ensure those he loves are completely cared for. See I knew early on about you. I also knew he cared for me, a lot. I could sense the fear, anxiety & inner struggle it was for him to get close to me. I knew also, he was "the one". I had people tell me he was too confusing. "Stop letting that grown man who acts like a teenager always giving you mixed signals, keep you worried & guessing. You deserve so much better girl." I have heard it all. But something deep in me knew, he wanted so bad to get close. I could see it in his eyes. Emphatically I could feel his soul desperatly trying his best. I made it my quest to find out all I could about him and what made him so distant. Over the years, and yes I say YEARS, I learned a lot. While none of it shocked me, it all made me sick. As a woman I will never understand the "victim" mentality of some women. You only used it as a pathetic excuse to manipulate and get what you wanted. Of all the things you wanted & got, his heart was not something that made your list. I used to wonder why he'd stop by to visit and seem so nervous. He also never would stay too long. If he stayed an hour, I was lucky. He'd leave give me a quick, shy hug and bolt. I'd sit up and wonder what did I do? My house was clean, I offered him snacks, we watched TV & would laugh. Some night's I'd cry thinking I'm never going to crack this code. But over time, he'd stay a bit longer. Then he'd actually eat a meal. I was slowly getting close to him. Since I have climbed the very high wall around his heart, built to keep your kind out, what I know about you is chilling. He wouldn't stay very long because you, never wanted him at your house. There were always excuses, but that's all they were. No movies. No date nights. He simply didn't know how it felt to sit beside someone who actually wanted to talk to him. To hear how his day was and laugh at his responses. I knew I was getting close when he came around when he was sick. It was me he wanted to take care of him. He'd rest and I started to see he felt safe with me. His soul was slowly coming back to life. See I, unlike you did not want his money. I did not want his "security" that came with him paying every bill I had. I didn't want him around just to make sure the payment on my new vehicle was on time every month. No, I wanted him. I wanted the feeling his presence gave my tired soul. I remember the first time he looked at me and said something about not being handsome. I almost lost it. See after all the things you'd done to push this kind soul away, you had stripped him of even seeing how handsome he is. You wanted no affection. You wanted no dates. Yet you had the audacity to tell him that for once, you were going to be fought for and not do the fighting. NO. All you did was a lot of taking. You used him. You stripped him of things no decent person would ever do to anyone. You lied to him. Often. You know you did. And when he'd find out you always had a way of turning it around on him and walking away a hurt and wounded victim. Your kind of woman makes me sick. You are weak & pathetic. You treated his family no better either. As I have slowly gotten to know them, it's just made me dislike you more. Who do you think raised the kind man who always made sure YOU were taken care of? It was them. They had to sit back and enjoy a front row seat to your selfishness. Years they did this and you treated them as if they were beneath you. When in reality you aren't fit to wipe the dirt off their shoes. You were always keeping secrets from him. God forbid he ask you why. He wanted to try and get close to you and yet, you kept him only close enough to live well. You knew exactly when to call, or do just enough around your due date of your rent. You'd meet him and grace him with just enough of your attention so you felt certain your needs were met. I also want you to know that he knew what you were doing. I think in the beginning he hoped the feelings he did have would show you what real love was. That's all he wanted to do was love you. Yet the more you pushed him away, lied to him, used him, insulted him, and made sure he never called you out on any of it, you were buying me time. See my life was falling apart while you treated him no better than a door mat. Your game honestly was just holding him out for the opportunity to be free when our stars lined up. Now granted, it took a while, but that man started to unlearn all of your games. He started to look me in the eyes. Not always looking away when I'd give him a compliment. He started to see that while you made him feel sub par at best, that when I saw him, I saw the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on. I told him so, often. He started to believe me too. The man who was timid, always in a hurry to leave, started to stay longer. He started to help me around my house do things that meant the world to me. He'd mow my grass and I'd fix us a big meal and make sure we had time to binge watch on Netflix. The man you wanted no where near you, I wanted him to stay and never leave. You were surviving at the expense of the sweetest man I've ever known. I honestly have wondered how you sleep at night? When you wake up to put on your make up each day, HOW, do you know you took from him and never gave anything back? While I do that each morning I get cracked up laughing at something crazy he said. It's hard to line your lips laughing, happy. After all this time I need to tell you that I have a lot of feelings about you. I got so sick and tired having to live in the shadow of such a self motivated person. I had to make my mind up, that before this man would ever give that much again, that he needed to know I was sincere. I dug in my heels and I vowed before God above that if He'd give me strength to see this through & the ability to show my true heart to him, that'd I would go no where. So now this brings me to today. I sit here just remembering. How long it's been. How far we have come. How HAPPY he makes me and how happy I make him. How if you had not been such a taker, that I would never have had the opportunity to show this beautiful soul that real love, gives & gives & gives. How I love cooking for him at my house & he loves my food. How I buy his favorites at the grocery store because taking care of him, is my joy. How his needs are an honor for me to meet. How we love to cuddle up together and take naps. How we make goofy snap chat videos and I laugh at him endlessly. How if he knows there's something I want or need, he will without fail make sure I get it. How we love watching football together. How he loves my children & makes sure they know if they ever need him, he's there. How when my best friend was killed instantly in a car crash, he made sure I was OK, even thousands of miles away, he gave me comfort. How we both understand what it's like to be introverts & our favorite company of all time is each other. How he can be 100 % himself in my presence & when he told me that the first time, my heart almost burst. How we love to sit for hours and talk about music we love and my favorite thing is when he wants me to listen to the songs that make him think of me. How every time I hear "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner, that I remember him reaching out to me telling me that he understood that song painfully so & that I scared him because I was getting too close. I was close enough to hurt him. See that wall you erected was starting to fall and fast. I made it my mission to show him that I would never take for granted the man that I felt God gave me. The man you only wanted for material possessions was the most calming, beautiful, selfless, handsome man I have ever met. It was so easy to love him. I'm not sure why you couldn't or wouldn't love him, but here today when we are planning our future together, I'm honestly grateful you didn't see the gem that man was. I am looking wedding dresses & it hit me that had you saw in him what I do, that there would be no him. There would be no happy. I can honestly tell you there's not a man in the world I ever want to kiss me or call me "baby" but HIM. Until you threw him away, I was completely unaware that I could even LOVE this much. The woman who was searching for the "Fairy Tale" really had no idea what love of this magnitude was. Had you not passed him over as the beautiful soul he was, I would still be searching. I'm sure it would end badly because had you loved him, "my person" would belong to you. He doesn't, he is mine. I am his. In 1987 he signed my year book and do you know what he wrote? He only wrote two sentences. I don't remember much about the first one. But that second one said "One day I'm going to take you on a date." Had you enjoyed his dates. Had you been a giver and not a taker, I would never have gotten that year book down and found his words. Had you valued him, I wouldn't have gotten that date with the man of my dreams. So, while the thought of you two doing anything together before me makes me cringe, I want to sincerely thank you. Thank you for not seeing the beauty in him. Loving that man is the best feeling in the world. He's my very best friend. Every ounce of hurt and rejection that you caused him, just lead him straight to my hearts door. While I don't admire you at all, the bitterness I used to feel towards you has been replaced gratefulness. I've always told him "Babe Timing is Everything".... "You can be hurt by love or healed by the same....it can happen so fast or a little bit late...but...Timing is Everything" Thank you for granting me the perfect timing to show him what real love feels like.
Sincerely
His girlfriend (And future wife)
