Dear Society,
You, my frienemy, are a nasty, nasty b*tch. You write love and hate all within the same sentence. You build up the same people you are constantly tearing down. You fight against universities for not having organizations that embody and support success stories, yet you continuously treat us sororities, fraternities, groups, cliques, organizations, teams, crews, families, friends, that contribute to both the university’s and your success, like a punching bag. I am asking you to step away from the bruised bag for a few minutes while you read this article and consider the fact that your opinions are valid but they are also uneducated; you are simultaneously right and wrong.
My freshman year of college I joined a sorority and was an active member until transferring this past winter. In all honesty, I didn’t have the best experience, but it surely wasn’t the worst. The reason I left Greek life was because I wanted to transfer closer to home to save money and frankly it was time for me to leave to my particular chapter. However, I still left with an incredibly positive outlook on the Greek community. But I think the best part of my unfortunate experiences is that I was able to adapt a more open mind and be able to take an educated stance on both sides of the fight for and against Greek life.
“Greek life underrepresents, or even excludes, minority students on campus.”
Since beginning my college career now three years ago I have watched a completely unacceptable number of sorority recruitment videos. I agree with the reported stereotype that sororities are only filled with attractive model-esc Caucasian blondes who love wearing the same outfits if I’m strictly basing everything about Greek life on a handful of fun, flirty, practically pointless recruitment videos.
Do you know how many members are in a single sorority on campus? It typically ranges anywhere from 100-300 members based on where the chapter is located nationally/internationally and how large the university is. Can you even imagine how difficult it is to manage and organize up to 300 or more young women to be in the same place, at the same time, to film hours worth of scenarios for an overall two- to four-minute video? Especially when these women participate in handfuls of other philanthropies, organizations, clubs, and teams?
Speaking of, campus involvement isn’t just favored in Greek life; it is beginning to become a requirement for almost all chapters. So to showcase every single shape, size, hair color, skin color, woman in these short videos is a challenge to say the least. Yes, the creators of these videos could absolutely do more to include all the different women of their chapters. These chapters could be more conscious of who/what they are showcasing to not just recruits, but society on behalf of Greek life. But society also doesn’t have to be so critical of what these organizations are advertising. You don’t see anyone complaining about the numerous number of gorgeous women that Taylor Swift features in her music videos and surrounds herself with in her everyday life. Instead, you see comments such as #SQUADGOALS.
Have you ever heard the quote “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” before? I’m almost sure you have. And I would put my all $4.68 from my bank account on you having used this quote before at least once in your life. So who are you to punish these women who actively participate in the community for being beautiful and for seeing and accepting the beauty in others? Who are you to judge these women based off their looks if you are expecting them to not judge potential new members off of theirs?
I’m pretty sure that you, society, even complain when actors and actresses aren’t “attractive enough” to fulfill their roles in movies and television shows (unfortunately, I am guilty of this deed as well). But then how can you complain when the people featured in advertisements (which is essentially what recruitment videos are) are nothing but attractive? Simply put, it’s hypocritical.
Also, Society, you rag on social sororities and fraternities for not being “diverse enough” but did you know that Greek life is made up of more than just social organizations? There are honor fraternities, business fraternities, and even ethnic fraternities. I’ve actually spoken to several colored men and women who said that they would prefer to join a fraternity that was more directed to “people of their race” who “understand them better” than a regular, typically more popular, social fraternity or sorority. This mindset isn’t the fault of social Greeks; it’s on behalf of society.
“Greek life is exclusively meant for students with wealthier backgrounds.”
Point true. Joining a Greek organization is incredibly expensive and difficult to keep up with when your schedule is over loaded with school and extra curricular activities, lacking extra time for a job with enough income to keep up with dues. And yes, the majority of students receive assistance from their families to pay their chapter fees.
It also seems like a lot of this money disappears. From an insider perspective, I felt like my wallet was being abused by my chapter. I paid a lot of money for a house and the privilege of being on probation (aka no social funds – which pst “aren’t actually a thing because sorority girls don’t promote alcohol-based events”). I tried to trust the system and believe that my money was making an impact and providing me with more than I could see. The knowledge that my money (yes, mine, because I paid my way through Greek life) was going to affect and benefit chapters at other schools rather than my own was a constant frustration. No, that’s not very sisterly of me to get upset over building and benefiting other chapters, but it’s a real and honest frustration.
However, all that money really didn’t just disappear, it didn’t only pay for socials and date parties, and it certainly didn’t buy me friends and exclusivity; all of those extra costs and fees bought me an unforgettable experience that impacted my community, both locally and nationally, built friendships and networks with not just other Greeks but other organizations on and around campus, and benefited a worthy philanthropy and many people in need.
Chapters are also always working with their members, similarly to colleges, on building financial aid, scholarships, and payment plans to help ease the pain of dues. Greek life also isn’t the only organization across campuses that cost an extra buck. Athletics cost an arm and a leg. Philanthropies have to pay money to make money in order to afford hosting events and fundraisers. Clubs are expected to throw in some cash in order to have and participate in activities on campus. Unfortunately, the benefits of life cost money and I would certainly say that extra curricular organizations are a wonderful benefit to life.
Lastly, I’ve never heard of anyone receiving a scholarship to attend university based on the characteristic of being a born and raised Sperry bro. Yet, there are hundreds of thousands of dollars being spent on people who are athletically gifted. And I’m pretty sure, Society, that you haven’t exactly made affording college very easy, let alone leaving extra cash in the wallet for extra curricular activities. But I’m just saying.
“Greek students are known for hazing.”
Also true. Greek life is known for hazing. There’s no hiding it or denying it. Hazing, by definition, is the act of exposing someone to humiliating and potentially harmful tasks, usually as a part of ritual or initiation. Related to this is bullying. Bullying is something taught to individuals at a young age and becomes increasingly more severe with time and lack of discipline. So it’s safe to say that cruelty didn’t originate from a chapter’s bi-laws. However, it’s possible that one pledge class was filled with bullies, and thus Greek life hazing rituals were born.
To say you’ve heard of Greek life without hearing a hazing horror story would be a lie. And to those of you in Greek life or have rushed, to say it wasn’t a fear of yours going into the whole thing would also be a lie. I remember texting every Greek I knew the weeks prior to recruitment asking for “the real deal” on hazing. And while all of those men and women completely denied it, rumors still roamed campus, and I was still afraid.
However, I can attest with all honesty, that I was not once hazed, harassed, or embarrassed in order to be a member of my chapter. Actually, I even got in quite a bit of trouble posting on a friend’s Facebook page “can’t wait to haze you little betch!” after she joined my chapter. I was never even subjected to “chug that drink, little!” or anything of the sort. There was no pressure, no harassment, and no hazing.
Unfortunately, not every member of Greek life can say the same thing. Unfortunately, not every member of Greek life can say anything positive about Greek life altogether. Unfortunately, not every member of Greek life is a fine, respectable, kind human being. Greek life, in its diverse community, includes members who are bullies, members who are sick-minded, members who truly think humiliation and harassment are key ingredients to membership. To those people, who are the reasons for the infamous horror stories, thank you for your time and money, but you can stop ruining something incredible now, and please go on with your sad lives.
Here’s the deal, Society: Greek life is far from perfect, but damn is it wonderful! There are so many flaws in it, but so many benefits at the same time. And while you truly can’t understand it looking from the outside, and it’ll probably never stop you from judging it, you have to respect that there’s another side to the story; there’s something special on the inside enticing thousands of members to join every year. Those members contribute to society in both beneficial and harmful ways, but don’t athletes and musicians do the same? There’s so much more to argue for and against Greek life but ultimately you have to be in the right mindset to understand either side. And that starts with putting an end to the judgment and negativity and opening your mind to the possibility of a world where organizations can co-exist without the need to tear one another down. Greek life isn't perfect, and certainly never will be, and neither will you, Society. So let it go and let them Go Greek.
Sincerely,
An Ex
