Dear Royal Baby,
As more and more celebrities and politicians are extending their congratulations to you and your family, I too would like to do the same. Some day you will realise that you haven't exactly been born into your average family - a trip to the park would seem like a simple thing but you'll most likely be waiting for an okay phone call from the Queen and your mother to get her hair styled and choose the perfect outfit so the rest of the women in the UK can rush out to buy it.
Then once you do have the opportunity to see the big world you will be displayed for everyone to see, like the baby cub in the Lion King. I bet your mother is hoping you'll be a pretty little princess otherwise it will be hard to make you a good accessory to her outfits. Of course none of this is you fault and no child can help the situation they are born into, but does there need to be so much attention given to a Royal baby?
With over half a million babies born every year it seems foolish that people would wait all day outside a private hospital to catch a glimpse of the Royal baby. This is by no means an attack on a baby but rather questioning why no one else seems to have anything better to do? This doesn't only extend to giving the Royals the attention they don't deserve but also to people who wait around to catch a glimpse of their favourite boy band or waiting for the launch of the next Apple product.
Anyway back to you. It is fair to say that you are going to have a very comfortable and easy life. Where once being in a Royal family meant you had to deal with unwanted marriages, rebellions, war, murder and betrayal (especially when it came to the sex of a baby). Now you just inherit a sense of entitlement and false power over everyone else in the UK. I'm not begrudging the Royal family, although I do see them as redundant now I'm not pushing for us to scrap them entirely. Like it or not they are still a big source of tourism for the UK and they are a part of our culture, in fact if they had a stronger presence then I believe people would still have the British resilience and stiff upper lip attitude that our grandparents had.
Overall the advice I want to give you is not the advice I'm going to give you. The advice I'd give a regular person growing up just doesn't cut it when it comes to a Royal baby. Instead I'd say that just like your mother you should learn to fit in and find the best way to avoid a life of work.
Your work will instead be that of looking good at all times and maybe even becoming a young style icon for people of a similar age. You will be taught to grow up gracefully and to date the right boys or the wrong ones in secret. I fear you might not have too much say over what you want to do in your early years but you will have to deal with this in extreme comfort and happiness.
Whatever happens to you I hope you are raised to be humble and appreciate the circumstances you have been born into.
