I knew when I first met you, there was something special...
Something I had never seen inside another human being before.
You had a way of making me feel like a bright candle in the darkest of rooms.
Everything was different with you.
You weren't just someone I could spend every waking minute talking to, or someone I could be comfortable with.
You became family.
I was young, but I knew I wanted to spend my entire life with you.
You spent countless hours making me happy after a long night of me worrying about my future, & telling me that if I kept trying for what I wanted, I would be successful.
Nothing ever felt wrong when I was doing it with you.
I could open up to you, almost like a screen door in the wind.
At first I was afraid to tell you about my family problems because I was afraid you would leave after finding out all the flaws I've dealt with since birth.
But you stayed...?
I questioned why you wanted to be with someone who woke up hating themselves more and more each day.
I wondered why you tried to piece back together someone who was broken.
I was scared...
Scared that if I opened up to you, you would take what you knew about me and run me into the dirt to try and make yourself feel better.
But you didn't..
You kept our secrets.. well.. secret.
& You kept making me happy..
Day, after day.. after day.
I thought that after a while you would find something you didn't like about me, & make up a dumb excuse as to why you didn't feel comfortable being with me, or cause an argument over something that could easily have been fixed with a small conversation.
But you didn't..
Every morning you'd text me & ask how I was doing. You made sure I ate that morning, made sure I made my bed so my mother wouldn't be angry with me, & you made sure I was safe.
You asked me to call you and tell you when I got to, and from work, & you asked me to call you when I arrived at a friends home shortly before we would start playing video games and eating junk food.
You cared.
Even during the sensual times, the romantic talks, the compassionate sex, and the early mornings spent laughing at each other in the bathroom while we were getting ready for the day... You still cared.
You showed me that I didn't have to be afraid of being in love with someone. You showed me that even the most dangerous of fears can be overcome.
But then it came...
The argument..
After everything we went through, one argument.. ended it all...
I didn't even have time to say I'm sorry...
I gave up everything for you, I would have given my own life to see you breathe another day.
At 11:11 every night while I laid alone in my bed, in my spot, next to where you belonged.. I wished..
I wished to have you back..
I wished that one day I would wake up and have a text message and see your name pop up...
"LoveBug"
You put your own nickname in my phone, & I smiled every time I read it.
After everything.. I just wanted to say ..
Thank you.
Thank you for breaking my heart, Thank you for showing me I deserved better, & Most of all, Thank you for loving me.
Even if it was only a short time in this dark abyss of hours we call "life".. Thank you.
You made me feel like I was on top of the world.
Nobody had ever done that for me.
I'm sorry it had to end this way.
But just know I still have your hand-written letters you gave me.
They're safe, sound, kept in a small chest I refuse to throw out.
So, again.. Thank you. For Everything.
