An open letter to the person I love

June 25, 2016, Saturday, 2:27 am I can hear the light drops of the rain on the pavement outside of my room. The weather seems to mirror my feelings. Tears streaming down my face and I have never felt this empty. I keep reading that letter I wrote and it still gets me deep in my heart and causes all those painful tears. Crying myself to sleep has been a daily routine of mine for the past week. Sometimes I get those quiet sobs, but often I get that painful cry that gets me screaming. Screaming through the pillow, careful not to wake anyone and not to let anyone know about the pain I am feeling. Flashbacks of the happy times we had kept on flooding in my mind. The happy times that got me smiling for months suddenly became the cause of my grief. Those happy kisses, passionate make outs and deep making loves became my constant nightmares. I never expected to fall for you this much, but I guess I got so attached that it hurt trying to cut myself away from you. You told me it took your whole life to find me and you will not just throw everything away. But why is it that your actions are doing the opposite of what you confessed to me? You said you love me to the point of trying so hard, but why are you suddenly turning cold and why are you suddenly pushing me away? Is it too much to ask if we could go back to how we were that time? Is it selfish to wish that somehow I'd be important to you? Is it greedy to hope that you'll love me again like how much you loved me before? It kills me inside that we ended up like this. We weren't at our momentum yet, I want more time with you. I want more of those kisses, I want to experience falling asleep while hugging you. I want to take a nice hot bath with you, eat breakfast with you or maybe cook food for you. I want to wake up next to you and see your sleeping face early in the morning. I want to wear your shirt after we make love the whole night. I want to have more time with you because I want to love you more. I want to spoil you and make you feel how a girl could love the deserving guy. I want to let you know, that a girl too, can give you the world. Because a Queen would willingly offer her King her whole world. I know I'm a Queen, and I badly want you to be my King. Not to the point of settlement, but I want this relationship to last long. I don't have the intention of marrying you yet, but I want to grow with you. Face challenges with you and try solving them together. How can I achieve all this without you? How can I treat you like a King if you are pushing me away? Will we still be able to go through this? Will you still be willing on trying to fix this relationship? Will we ever get the chance of being happy again? I hope we do. I really am hoping we still do, because we deserve to be happy. Me and you. Everyone does.