Dear, Panda-Wife
It wasn’t that long ago that I was frightened by the terrifying medical issues you were facing, it wasn’t that long ago where I felt I needed to do something about it to protect you from unnecessary pain and suffering. It wasn’t that long ago you were getting out of the bathroom, and I proposed to you right after you went potty. You were my best-friend so I knew you would appreciate the irony of my timing.
It seems as if forever has gone and gone since that over cast cold day outside the court house while we had our families with us, on the day we said (our) "I do's) It wasn’t that long ago I had considered myself to be the most fortunate man in the world I had achieved all my aspirations, goals, and dreams. I was complete and my life was bliss.
We had our up’s we had our down’s good, bad got to have it all as a real married couple right? I supported you emotionally, I supported you physically and I even supported you monetarily as having a job having money and no one to share it with was a lonely empty feeling.
You taught me how to be a husband, you taught me how to put others before myself you taught me that life was hard, but life was very well worth living and participating in. Getting married to you have me a huge amount of family where I had none before I considered myself very wealthy because of this.
Then I became ill, you took care of me, you tried to understand I didn’t always feel good, you taught me I needed to take care of me as well. Then we had our issues and the day came where you told me that I needed to leave and that I didn’t have a choice. I felt as if I had my heart ripped out and stomped on, my world as I knew it became a whirlwind of emotion, sadness, depression, suicidal thoughts, and fear of the unknown. I cried and cried and cried and as I write this I still cry to this very date and time. I cry not only for what I have lost, but I took care of you, I protected you from the world for such a long time over those almost 3 years I cried, not just for me, but I hurt and cried for you as well. I worried about you who was going to be there to catch you from falling, who was going to support you, who was going to help you take care of “our” now “your” 3 furry dog sons. I knew I would be okay again someday, but I cried for you as with all I did your telling me I needed to leave, and I didn’t have a choice well What are you going to do without me?
As the days go by on important or what I felt where important days for us I still think about you and I want to vomit, I want to cry it hurts me so bad. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, I’m sorry we didn’t make that 180 years we promised each other at the court hose that November day. But I do thank you for making me a stronger person, I thank you for the love, adventure, excitement and happy memories we made together. The funny thing is if I had the opportunity to do it all over again, id hit the rewind button and id do it all over again in a heartbeat. Thank you again for teaching me I’m only human, and that I am capable of loving another person besides myself.
Thank you for helping me become the person I am today, and for being my everything while it lasted.
-Anonymous-
