Hey Babygirl.
Mommy loves you so very much you know that right? As much as I wish you could be here, I know that the life you're living up there is far more beautiful than any life you could have lived here.
I think about you everyday, you know? When i wake up and even when I go to sleep. You're always on my mind mama.
Sometimes when I see babies that are the age you would be right now, I start picturing what you would have looked like. Of course I got pictures when you were in Mommy's tummy, but they can only show me so much when I feel sad.
I know sometimes I get sad, but it's not your fault. Actually none of this was your fault and If you ever get sad, I dont want you to think that it was, okay? You know how much Mommy loves you. I loved you before I even met you Alianna Brielle. Daddy loves you too. He might have a tough way of showing It but, he was just scared. When a beautiful baby like you Is created, It's a lot of responsibility. Thats why only grown ups should have babies. So when we found out about you, Mommy and Daddy just got really scared. We wanted you to have everything you could have ever want and needed and we knew we were too young to give it to you. Not because we dont love you.
I hope you look down and watch after your Daddy. He's not a mean person, I know underneath there's a layer that loves and cares soooo much. As much as I'll never want to admit to anyone, I do love your Daddy. I want the best for him, So if Jessica is making him happy baby girl, let him be happy. Just smile down and look at his big ol' smile for me. Just promise Mommy you'll always look after him. I never want anything bad to happen and I know you don't either.
Anyways baby, I know you might be disappointed in some of the things you see me do and i want to apologize. Sometimes, Mommy just gets really sad that you can't be here with me, and so i do stupid, bad things to make me feel better. Just please know that I'm trying to change. Again, It's not your fault, I just always miss you so so much.
Well I gotta go to bed Ali, tell your brother Mommy loves him too, and i haven't forgotten about him. Goodnight my sweet babies.
Love,
Mommy.
