I wasn't looking for a relationship. I wasn't looking for you.
The first night we met, everything fell into place. We both knew that something felt right. We spent the summer watching Netflix in bed, eating tons of donuts, and sitting in coffee shops. We drove to Michigan for a day. We spent a day in my favorite childhood bookstore.
You made me feel more amazing in my own skin than anyone ever had. You helped me realize that I should love myself for being different. You supported me, and pushed me to do things I wouldn't do on my own.
You told me you loved me.
I went to Alaska. We fought. We fought a lot. The day I was coming home, I had resolved that anything to make this right was worth it. I was ready to sacrifice for you.
The day I was coming home, you decided you were done. The day I was coming home, you texted and told me to let it die. The day I was coming home, I sat on a three-hour flight and quietly cried.
You refused to meet with me. You told me I would never understand. You told me that I deserved no more from you.
I was broken. I did not understand how two people in love could be in such different places. I did not understand how someone could treat a person they loved like that.
I realized that you are not worth the pain you have caused me. I realized that I do not need to wait for you to call me saying you screwed up. I realized that I do not need you.
I miss that goofy way you walked. I miss all of your random historical facts. I miss how it felt to be with you.
But I do not need you.
So I thank you, Summer Love, for teaching me what love is, and also for teaching me how to get over it.
Thank you for teaching me that I do not need someone to hold me together.
Thank you for helping me love myself.
