Dear babe,
Today, we parted ways. We promised we would stay friends but I am not sure if it's gonna work. I told you to give me four months. I am gonna use this time usefully and try to be okay. I hope you will be too. You told me not to mess around with guys. You told me to block you first if I ever uploaded a picture of me and my future boyfriend together when I told you to move on and find someone else to replace me. That's not because I don't love you. I looked at you today on the escalator, on our way to Din Tai Fung, to have our last meal together as lovers. I worry about you. I worry about you getting your getting your heart injured again. I worry what if someone tries to hurt you like your ex did. I worry about you not getting back as much love and care as you would provide. I worry about you being afraid to love again. because babe, you are fragile. Idc how tough you make yourself look, you have the warmest heart, saddest eyes and the most beautiful personality and from what I have seen and experienced, these kind of people get hurt the most. I know you're not gonna move on easily but I sincerely wish you do. I sincerely hope that one day, you will find someone who really cares about you, loves you unconditionally and makes you as happy as you claimed I had. Idk what kind of an ex-girlfriend I am for saying that I would love to attend your wedding and see you so happy that you can barely close your mouth. You might probably know how I am feeling now since we are both going through this and if anyone asks me if I am hurt, hell yeah, it hurts like a lil bitch. This was so unexpected but we can't always be happy, can we? I am only happy 'we' happened. I am sorry if I acted like I did not care about you as much as you did during the times we had been together. There were certain things I did that really upset you. I am sorry for all of that. If I have a chance, I'll be a better lover. If I have a chance, I won't hesitate to show the world that I am yours and only yours. If I have a chance, I wouldn't hold back. If I have a chance, I would text you the morning text first, if I can wake up, that is. If I have a chance, I'll take care of you like you took care of me but babe, trust me when I will always be looking out for you. I am thankful for every little thing you did for me. Meeting you has made me believe there are people out there who are actually willing to love me, both at my worst and best times and are afraid to lose me. Remember how I barely got jealous? Of course, I am only human. I can get jealous but the reason I never got jealous was because I trusted you. I trusted you completely. Well I am saying all these but I also doubt whether I'll really be capable of me seeing you loving someone else and doing all these sweet things for her that you once did for me, like unfollowing everyone on instagram and only following me and going to all these places to get me the food I want, considering the fact that you hate exercise as much as I hate flies. Haha it's three days until our one year anniversary. Life is ironic. We had so many memories and I promise I'll remember every little thing. One day, if we ever have to cross paths again, I hope we can laugh about this and talk about how our lives have changed ever since. I never believed in forever's and I never said this would have lasted forever but when it was time to really end this, I almost couldn't handle it. I am still struggling and trying not to cry in front of people because everywhere I go, I see the images of us together but I think we are gonna be okay. Soon. Hopefully. Time will heal. Dear babe, you had the biggest impact on my life and I have really loved you even if you have to say your love is bigger. I am going to remember all the roads that we walked together, where you would try to grab my hand and I would run away and then you would get mad. Oh we even tried to do this silly dance on the way back to my house from yours once, remember? Well, you forced me into it. I am going to remember how you tried to cover me scratching my butt in public. Well the thing is, it happened. And it was really good. I am going to keep this in my book of imperishable memories. I hope we can meet again like meet meet. Until then, farewell my lover and I am going to miss you. I wish you all the best things in life.
Love,
The-girl-you-loved-when-you-were-18
