Dear MareckScott,
I can sense your pain and frustration as you struggle to help your child. You are correct. An eating disorder (is NOT something someone asks for). It definitely is an illness.
I personally battled an ED when I was in high school and relapsed in college, and nearly died. This was many years ago. Like most parents, siblings and loved ones of someone battling and ED, they simply don't know enough about the life-threatening illness, and don't know how to help their loved ones.
When I was battling my ED, my father was in denial. Again, it was, in large part, due to lack of knowledge regarding ED's.Plus, there's shame often times associated with an ED, and there shouldn't be. The more family/friends can "accept" and "support" their loved one, and help them to secure the professional treatment, the greater their chance for recovery.
I've pasted the NEDA link for the Parent's Toolkit below. I believe you and your husband will find this to be an incredibly valuable tool. I'm hopeful it will bring you both together as you create a plan of action for your child so you can be on the same page, working towards the same loving goal.
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/parent-toolkit
Please consider contacting the NEDA Helpline #1.800.931.2237 with any questions you might have. They can also help you locate a local therapist trained in ED's. They're available Mon. - Thurs. 9am-9pm/Fri. 9am-5pm (EST).
P.S. My parents and siblings didn't understand this life-threatening illness, and thought it was as simple as telling me to "just eat!" What they didn't realize, and I didn't either, is that when you're battling an ED, your brain chemistry changes, and thus, changes one's perception of the severity of their illness.
Please let me know if there's anything else I can do to help you, your family, and your child. We, as a forum, are here for you.
Healing hugs,
Legacy of Love
