Dear Jay,
How one whole year has come and gone is absolutely beyond me. Time speeds by around us so quickly it seems like twelve months have zoomed by in half the time, but it seems as if this has been my reality for so much longer. I can hardly remember what it’s like to not have you in my life.
It still makes me laugh that in the beginning months of our relationship, people would see us together and be surprised when they found out we were only together for five months, nine months. ‘You seem like high school or college sweethearts,’ they’d say. ‘You seem like you’ve been together for five or ten years.’ Even strangers would say this; and hearing it would fill me with such a sense of pride that I am in the very relationship I imagined when I was in high school and in college. I was hoping to have that sweetheart type of relationship, and I’m very glad to know that I didn’t have to be in high school or college to have it.
I absolutely love how our sheer laziness foiled our plans to spend our anniversary weekend at fancy hotel, and we just hung out at my place the entire time; gorging ourselves on vegan burgers, watching Supernatural, playing video games, hugging, and loving, and doing all the things that we do every day. My living room became like our own little alcove of geeky romance. I don’t know how, but it just felt different, more special than one of our usual weekends. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend this time with you. We can do a big anniversary blow out another year. Obviously, the idea is to have a lifetime for which to have the pomp and circumstance of commemorating our day.
There is so much that I want to say, but I have no idea how to categorize it and truncate it into something that would not encompass ongoing volumes of what I feel for you. So much has happened in just this one year, but having the constant comfort of you by my side has made me feel like I can do anything. I have more hope and expectation for myself now than ever before. I have always wanted to pave for myself the best life possible, but I am so humbled to have you here — that having you here has made me see beyond myself. My goals are now yours and your goals are now mine, and I am not ashamed of saying that I would prefer to build a life with you than to try and strive for greatness on my own. I see us as a power couple. I see us as the couple that everyone wants to be. I see us spending our lives pushing each other further, neither of us satisfied until the other is ahead. Right now, we don’t have a lot, but I promise you darling, we will be extraordinary. I know this in my very being.
Once upon a time, I was very afraid that I would not be able to recognize love when it found me. Though I knew, I hardly even realized that I’ve been preparing myself for this. Every lesson I’ve learned and every day dream I’ve had of you, before I even knew who you were has brought me to this moment where I can hardly keep my eyes dry long enough to get to the next sentence. Being in love and being loved feels so good. I wish everyone in the world could experience even half, even a quarter of our love; the world would definitely be a much better place.
I have received more love, caring, and consideration from you in twelve months that I have from most that I’ve known my entire life. They say that you should treat others how you wish to be treated, and this is so true in that the very love you have given me is what I have used to love you in return. Your love, intense, yet playful, innocent and pure, it fills me with peace, contentment, and tranquility. It is always just enough. I can only hope that the love I have for you can give the love that you have given me a smidgen of justice. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make sure that it does.
Happy Anniversary Hunny,
Finn
