An Open Letter To My (Former) Roommates

Subject: An Open Letter To My (Former) Roommates
From: J.A.
Date: 7 Jan 2020

Dear (former) roommates,

A year ago, I was excited about the opportunity to share an apartment on campus with you. I had been in desperate need of upperclassman housing and almost couldn't find a spot. After meeting with 1 out of the 4 of you, I knew the apartment would be perfect for me.

Or so I thought.

After moving in during the winter break, I got acquainted with the place pretty quickly. Soon, the others moved in and we started decorating and organizing the apartment the way we wanted! I was more than excited to spend some time with you girls and figure out different ways we could hang out and have fun - in and outside of our apartment. But unfortunately that didn't work out. I realized that it was much harder to connect with each of you, especially since we were all so different and had different expectations for what we wanted in a roommate(s).

I learned that you girls didn't actually want to be my friend. I didn't understand why you pushed me away and didn't extend your invitations to hang out with me and go places. I wondered why your friendships with each other was working out so well, but not with me. I use to blame myself for the lack of relationship I had with you, even when I tried really hard to put myself out there. I soon learned that I was not the problem. You all were.

And that's the reason why I moved out.

I put my guard up once I realized you girls were blaming me for the struggles I endured at school. I stopped sharing personal information about me and my life when I saw you girls talking about it in separate group chats. I stopped letting you girls take advantage of my kindness. I refused to be a servant to the apartment unit. I felt it shouldn't have been solely my responsibility to clean and tidy after every single one of you. And I certainly didn't feel it was my responsibility to find a replacement in the apartment unit, especially since every single one of you released me from the lease.

I did the best I could to genuinely connect and build friendships with you girls. I wanted to live with girls I could have fun with, learn from, grow with, and also trust during the times I needed a friend. None of that was reciprocated and though it be like that sometimes, I hate that I wasted my time trying.

Soon, I was over it. I was done trying to get everyone to help me clean. I was annoyed by you girls being unsanitary and unclean. I was done with you girls being selfish, inconsiderate, and rude. I dealt with a lot of crap in this apartment unit, and I reached a point where I gave up. This apartment no longer felt like home. I didn't feel welcomed anymore.

I hope that whoever moves in next doesn't take any of the same crap I dealt with. I hope that now that I've moved out, you girls come to the realization that you will need to be independent.

And even though we're no longer roommates, I hope we can be civil and co-exist on this college campus. Have a great semester, ex-roommates.

See you around.

The best roommate you ever had,