Dear Freddie B,
The titles that the family comes up with for you go from 0 to 100 real quick, yet Freddie B seems to stick pretty well. The most important title that will never change is Dad, daddy, or Father. Listen, let me be honest with you hear. I would have never thought that we would have such a strong bond and that you would be my best friend today. Yet the moment I was born you knew I was going to be your girl. How? I’m not really sure I guess you can call it a dad thing. When I was younger, yes you stayed home with me while mom worked during the day. You would take me in the mornings with you to the barber shop to get your hair cut then off to McDonald’s for our breakfast time and then from there you took me to my dance class. Heck you even made sure my shoes matched my outfits and that my pigtails had bows at the ends of them. I’m pretty sure you even mentioned that you actually enjoyed doing my hair! Who would have thought that those words would ever come out of the mans mouth that grew up in rural Louisiana and that left to be in the Air force at the tinder age of 17. You grew up with 5 sisters and 2 brothers who all graced you with your original nickname of Hunk. After doing your time overseas you found yourself in California where you met mom in a K Mart of all the places lol. Next thing you knew you were married with 2 daughters and some years later you got me, your angel, your Angelique. Growing up you did the things that everyone knew a dad was SUPPOSE to do like teach me how to ride a bike, get the family a puppy, and take me to school. A+ for you dad. Then I just thought of you as regular old dad and nothing more. As my middle school times came around you continued to just be dad to me, you were simply just a person who God assigned to me to play the role of my father. As I got older and you started noticing that I was coming into my own skin I started noticed that you started to crack down on me and become more stern. I’d talk to my sisters about it and the only advice they would give me was, “Ignore him, that’s just the way dad is. You’ll eventually learn to tune him out.” So that’s what I did, I ignored you for years until my freshman year of high school. Over that time i learned that you didn’t like being overlooked so much I mean who would. That’s when tempers started flaring and words we didn’t me to say to each other were said. I even remember telling you that if you couldn’t be nice or respect me as your daughter than I didn’t want you to be my dad anymore and I’ve never seen hurt in your eyes like I did at that moment. At the time I was a youngster and I didn’t really care, I thought that parents were there to make your life difficult. That summer I went on a church retreat that finally allowed me to build up the courage to talk to you, that talk that we had pushed you to get more involved in our faith and to better yourself as a man, father, and husband. A year went by and the waters at the house were some what calm.
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That quickly changed the summer before my junior year of high school started. It was August and I was so pumped because I just made the dance team. You went to the gym as usual and you ran your errands like you would any other day. Except today you were more tired than usual; knowing you, you just pushed it to the side and kept going on as usual until you got to your ACTS Retreat Team meeting. You were rehearsing your speech in front of the team when you all of a sudden had to take some time to sit down for the pain that you thought would shortly go away but never did. You were experiencing a heart attack. I will never forget where I was and what was going through my head. My youth minister called me to check up on me and quickly learned that I hadn’t found out yet and put my mom on the phone to tell me what you had suffered from. She assured me hat you were okay and that I needed to get an overnight bag for you and that my older sister Danielle was on her was to get me. We arrived at the hospital and I saw you in the bed and you of course told me that you were fine and that you would be released that night. Well you weren’t, you admitted into the hospital for surgery the next day at noon. That four hour surgery turned into an eight hour one. Then the nurse told us they were getting you all set in the ICU and she came back about every 15 minuets to tell us that same thing. As you would probably understand I was a tad bit on edge at that point when they finally allowed us two at a time to see you. So myself and Danielle walked in and I immediately broke down. Seeing you hooked up to all these machines and the all the effort it took you to breathe broke my heart. As a teenager you never think about how your life would be if you lost a parent. And seeing the backbone of your family that weak blew my mind. At that moment we made a promise to each other top be better for each other and I can say that to this day as a 20 year old junior in college writing this letter to you that I think we’re doing a damn good job dad. You have pushed me to be better. You have supported me when I didn’t think a lot of things were possible and you reassured me time and time again of how proud I make you on a daily bases. And I can not thank you enough for molding me into the woman that I am today. You are the ultimate best friend that I could ever ask for. I’m forever grateful that you weren’t taken from me that summer because we have so much more living to do. I realize this letter is long but I could have never said these words to you without crying like a baby.
I love you Freddie B with all my heart,
Love your Angel.
Angie Carmouche
