It will be five years since we lost you this december, and 5 years have never felt so long. five years without my very best friend. 5 years of waking up every morning having to face the reality of life without you. 5 years of talking to you in my head all day long hoping and praying that your listening and that the strength that you carried through your life can some how be reflected onto me. 5 years of wondering if I'm the only little sister that got left with so much pain when i lost my big brother.
there was nothing more comforting than knowing i had my brother to protect me. you had imbedded in me since birth that if anyone hurt me they would have to answer to you. lt was like i had an imaginary shielld around me because my big brother was only phone call away. you gave me the biggest gift anyone's ever gave me and that gift was confidence. I thought i had the rest of our lives to thank you....
Im writing this letter because, i just wanted to thank you, thank you for teaching me every wrestling you knew, and for practicing them on me. thankyou for letting me hang out with u while you played nitendo, and then sega. thanks for bringing back every frog you caught in the brook just to show me.thanks for always bumping my elbow at the dinner table cause you ate with ur left hand , and i ate with my right. thanks for making it known in the new neighborhood that nobody was gonna mess with me. thanks for letting me tag along and try to keep up with you ( it must have got annoying) every thing you did taught me to be a stronger person.
Thankyou for listening to my stupid highschool drama.(always agreeing that i was right) thanks for scaring my prom dates and for interrogating any other male you ever saw around me , period (you went a bit over board but... u meant well ). thankyou for teaching me i had worth. thankyou for the motivation in sports, for telling me i had to give it my all or id disgrace the family name. you taught me to put my whole heart into everything i do in life.
Most importantly thank you for becoming my best friend when we got older. thankyou for dealing with my sometimes difficult personality .for telling me to take a chill pill. thankyou for waking me up at 10 every morning for the gym and for telling me i made the best tuna sandwich (aka your way of getting me to make it) thankyou for making me promise you i'd never drink and drive and i could call you no matter where i was and what time it was and you would come get me, no questions asked ( well maybe a few lol ) .thanks for sometimes letting me party with you and letting me feel like i was wicked cool. ( i wasn't ) and thank you so much for the thousands of laughs, i'll never forget the sound of your laugh. ( especially the way you laughed at your own jokes ) you always have been and always will be my hero. The fact is you trained your whole life to be an angel.
i try to stay strong like you taught me. The hardest part of losing you was when life started to move forward. having to realise that even i have to move forward and i had to learn how to live without you. having to realise that you won't be at my wedding. that my future children wont grow up with u around. That your not a phone call away . that people continued to ask "how are your parents" ,not even like i didn't loose my everything too. that we won't be old together. I miss you more than words can explain like there should be another word i can use because i more than just miss you !!
i know god must have had a very special job that he needed you for. i know you're watching over us all. i wish you could have stayed here with us. the only thing that gets me through is that i know ill see you again big bro. im sorry that it took me almost 5 years to have the strength to write this letter. i love you my angel. my big brother. my bestfriend.
your litte sister
To everyone who has lost a sibling and might feel like your pain is overlooked , it's not. Let's stand up to this epidemic before more and more of us lose our big Brothers, friends and loved ones. Love to u all