Dear Lady Yelling At Her Kids in Central Park,
I saw the whole thing, and I want to tell you I get it. I have no idea what language you were speaking, but it was clearly time to go.
You asked a hundred times. Cooing, jackets out, stroller packed, snack-jar shaking, and your kids still pretended you didn't exist.
Really, you gave them both plenty of time – a 5-minute warning just like the experts suggest. First you had one wrangled. Then, just as you were getting your oldest to move it along, the little one bolted for the tire swing.
Kudos for staying patient so long. Ya'll went back and forth three or four times before you totally lost it. And it's good to know that, "... by the time I count to 5! 1 ... 2 ..." is the same in every language, and that all kids wait until the last number.
The thing is, I knew I was going to go through the same thing in about an hour. Fingers crossed, of course, that this time would go more smoothly.
"Lady yelling like a banshee" is an archetype with which I identify wholeheartedly. I completely understand the heat rising from your neck as you strap your kid in his stroller – at least 20 different pairs of eyes glaring at you.
I want to shout back at these people, "What are you, robots?" They act like they've never seen such a preposterous display of lunacy ... tut, tut, tut [adjusts ascot]. But we never say anything, do we? We keep our heads down and stroller-out like the wind. None of us want to raise our voice, but these kids ... man. Every button.
There is real lunacy happening in the world though, and it is not coming from you. I see you and I know that you are completely invested in your children. If you weren't, you wouldn't be there with your kids in the first place. You certainly wouldn't be schlepping around their lunch bags, sand pails, and bubble maker.
People's reactions to the way we parent verges on intrusive. At any moment, someone can take a video of us and post it on YouTube. Certainly the community should intervene when a child is being abused, but the ceaseless judging of one another has got to stop. We are all doing the best we can. And seeing your very real, very human reaction to being frustrated and tired and who knows, makes me feel better about me. I'm a yeller (and a counter) too. It just comes out sometimes. I get it.
Hang in there, Momma.
Sincerely,
The Mom Who Just Gave Her Kids Their Last Warning
