Dear Missouri Weather,
First of all, I just want to know why you continue to send me mixed signals. When will you ever make up your mind? You're hot then you're cold (literally), you're yes then you're no. One day you're a beautiful 58 degrees, and the next there's a chance of snow.
You had the nerve to flood our homes. It rained for days and days. I thought God had decided to flood the world a second time. Did you have your seasons confused? Let me help: it's WINTER, not spring. April showers, remember?
As if the floods weren't enough, soon after you changed your mind yet again. Why not throw in some snow and ice, right? I didn't want to drive anywhere. I actually really love falling on my butt on the way to class.
And now, the struggle is more real than ever. How do I know what clothes to put on in the morning? Weather apps can't help me anymore, because you're just so unpredictable. If yesterday was bright and sunny, tomorrow I'll need snow boots.
When will I be able to shower in the morning without wondering if my hair will freeze into icicles by the time I make it across campus?
Can I put on my heavy coat without the risk of sweating through my shirt because it actually feels like summer outside?
Do I need to wake up 10 minutes early to scrape the ice off of my car?
Should I take advantage of the sunshine and run to the park, or will it start to get so windy on the way there that I blow away?
I used to appreciate you more when I was younger. If there was random snow during the week, I was ecstatic because that meant I wouldn't have to go to school the next day. But now that I'm older, we seem to be growing apart. Snow days are a thing of the past. I still have to get out of bed when it snows, I still have to go to class, I still have to go to work. And odds are, I'll slip and spill coffee down my shirt on the way there.
What I really need in my life is some consistency. I need some commitment. You just can't seem to make up your mind, and frankly, I can't handle it anymore.
I'm sorry, Missouri Weather, but I think I need to see other people. Florida and I have really been hitting it off.
Yours truly,
A frustrated and confused Missourian
