An open letter to the one who broke me.
We dated in the early part of 2014. You were great. You came into my life and you rescued me. You rescued me from loads of depression and hopelessness. We began talking in March then began dating in April and we instantly hit it off. We fell hard for each other and I thought we were perfect together. We both held the qualities that are needed to keep a relationship alive. (For a little while anyway). For example, the basic things like honesty and trust were there. You treated me so well, and I began to believe that you were the one that I had been searching for. Not only did you treat me well, but you also accepted my flaws. You even accepted my daughter and I can't thank you enough for that. Things were going tremendously up until the late part of May. I could feel you drifting away and you distanced yourself. I brought it to your attention that I had realized those actions, but you denied it.
Things went downhill from there. You refused to see me and you accused me of the things that I never did. You accused me of cheating with someone that I had never met and it hurt. I never would've hurt you. You yelled at me on several occasions, you criticized me, emotionally abused me, and treated me as if I was your enemy. You treated me as if I was anything but yours and I still kept you around. I thought you'd change. Did you? Of course not. You just continued to turn into someone else. You became the complete opposite of what I had fell in love with. I stuck around until July and I wish I wouldn't have waited around for so long. You didn't deserve me and you didn't deserve my attention. You cheated on me and I had the proof, but you STILL denied it. Rather than treating you poorly, I chose to ignore it. I stuck around thinking you'd change and damn, I wish you would have. We finally went our separate ways in July but things didn't end there.
In September of 2014, I got home from school and my mom met me at the front door. I instantly knew something was off because she never did that before. She told me that the police department called and I needed to talk to a detective the next morning. I was nervous and terrified when she told me why. She was disappointed in me and I was disappointed in myself. I'm normally not open about this situation and I shouldn't be, but I'm tired of being broken over it. I trusted this guy with pictures of me. I sent them to him while I was dating him. The person I trusted the most (at one time) exposed me. My pictures were spread around to a lot of people, some of which I don't know. I was embarrassed. Who could I trust? Who has seen them? I didn't know any information..even after speaking to the detective. I dealt with the law for a year. I refused to receive my subpoena. I could not face him in a courtroom. Luckily I got my way and he changed his plea to guilty in July of 2015. I forgave him and I felt bad for him. We were young. He was 18, I was 17, so he received worse seeing as how I was considered a minor. The court systems didn't care that we were together at the time. I feel as though he received worse than he deserved, and I'm not going to list his name or what his charges/sentencing was. That'd be wrong of me.
I'm still broken today. Trusting is hard. Seeing the person who has publicly embarrassed you is scary. I'm faced with anxiety daily.
To the person that has broke me, I am sorry. I am sorry for whatever I did to make you do such a thing and I hope you're happy.