Dear Darren Wilson,
This letter is not about guilt and innocence or legal proceedings that have taken place in the past or may take place in the future. You and I may not have a great deal in common, but one thing we do have in common is that we have both been raised in a culture that has influenced our responses to people of color. We’ve been conditioned through media and by the people around us, possibly even our own families, to have automatic responses about people who just so happen to be of a different race. We can deny this all we want, but the truth is neither one of us will ever truly understand what it’s like living in a different skin and we should both be sensitive to that.
A lot of people are expressing opinions about you right now, and regardless of what my own opinions of your past actions are, I want you to know that I read through your testimony and listened to the interviews you’ve given so far. You felt threatened and in danger and you reacted the only way you knew how. I want to let you know that I understand and accept your thoughts and feelings as valid from your own point of view. I would like to give you the benefit of the doubt and think that you did not intentionally mean to cause so much harm to the Brown family, the community of Ferguson, and to our nation as a whole. This does not change the fact that you have indeed done so.
The great thing about being human is that we all have the opportunity to expand our knowledge. Past actions, both positive and negative, can and should be a catalyst for change and self-improvement. Whether you continue to feel your past actions were justified in the future or not, it is my hope that you engage in serious reflection especially in regards to your current feelings that you could not have done anything differently in your encounter with Michael Brown.
In your interview with Good Morning America, you expressed a desire to remain in law enforcement and you also expressed a desire to, “teach people.” I think these are both very noble goals. You expressed worry that if you do return to law enforcement, you won’t be accepted and that you might be in danger. I hope you will come to realize that these are the same feelings people of color have every day about many areas of their lives. Your ability to be accepted is going to be dependent on your willingness to accept others. Just as I, as difficult as it is for me to do, have accepted your personal thoughts and feelings as valid from your current point of view, you must be willing to grant this courtesy to the people in your community. You have to be willing to open your mind to the fact that other people’s realities are very much unlike your own. You have to be able to overcome the same conditioned responses I have had to learn to overcome in regards to understanding people of color.
In order to teach others, you have to be willing to learn. If we were friends, the advice I would give you right now is to arrange to meet with a group of young black men and listen to them. Don’t just hear what they have to say, but really listen to them while asking yourself how you can take their realities into account if you wish to continue your job in public service. Meet with a group of mothers and listen to the lessons they must teach their children that are very different than the lessons you were taught as a young white person. Meet with a group of civil rights leaders and listen to their thoughts on policies and protocols that help both citizens and law enforcement. Join your voice with the voices of others to demand every police officer wear a camera while on duty. These are not conversations that need to be put on public display. These conversations should not be treated as a public relations move but as a way for you to begin better interpersonal relations with the people in the community where you hope to continue to live and work.
I would also like to congratulate you on the exciting news that you will soon be a father. There is no greater teaching opportunity than this. What kind of lessons will you choose to teach your child? Will you teach that when we are facing adversity or are accused of wrongdoing that we react in a defensive posture with stubbornness and an unwillingness to seek common ground or will you teach that we should truly listen to others, respect their thoughts and feelings while trying to understand their point of view with empathy, seek to rectify matters, build bridges, and learn and grow as members of the human race?
Currently, others are seeing you as either a villain or a hero. This is not reality, merely the way the public has been conditioned to react to people at the center of any major news story. You are more than a news story; you are a human being. Make no mistake. I do not condone your actions. However, I choose to believe that as a human being, you are as capable as I am of overcoming your own conditioned responses. I choose to believe you have the capacity to open your mind and your heart to a wounded family, a fractured community, and a grieving nation. In many people’s eyes, you may be far from the hero Ferguson deserves, but you have a chance to work towards being one of the heroes it needs right now.
Forward Together,
Madison Kimrey
