To the boy who wore a mask;
You put on a show. You made me believe that you cared about me. You did nothing but lie to me and in the moment, it was okay. I loved hearing that I was the world to you, hearing how much you loved me. Believing that you truly loved me as much as I did made me the happiest I had been my whole life.
But it was all a lie.
You wanted me, along with everyone else, to believe that you were something you really weren't. You don't know how to appreciate what's right in front of you. And sadly, you don't know what's it's like to appreciate what you HAD, even after it's gone.
I challenged you to really think about the person you wanted to be. I give you credit for trying, you attempted to be someone who you've wished to be your whole life. You aren't though. You're not someone who who makes everything better.
I would have rather had the truth told to me instead of being lied to for all those years. Sometimes I wonder what all I missed out on, how dumb I looked to these other females who knew I was being cheated on, how my life would have been if I had a loyal man by my side.
I don't know why you're the way you are or why you you do the things you do. I'm thankful that you eventually did show me the real you.
I had to find out from other people, and didn't want to believe it at first because I was so mesmerized by you. I didn't want to believe that you did the things you did to me. I didn't think it was even capable for you to hurt me because I was so convinced that you were madly in love with me, as I was with you.
I'm thankful. I'm happy that I found out when I did so it didn't continue any longer. I'm happy that I found out the real you so I didn't waste anymore time being lied to. I'm thankful that you taught me how to love and how to put of my all heart and soul into something, how to trust and how to believe in something/someone.
It made me a stronger person in a sense. Unlike you, I can appreciate what I have. I have loved, and I have lost. I now know that it was for the better. I know that you were not "the one" for me, as hard as it is for me to admit that. I know what to look for in a guy, I know that the right guy will respect me. He will own up to what he does and not turn it around on me, he will take whatever consequences we feel is necessary when things go wrong.
He will do things you simply couldn't provide for me. He will provide love and consistency and a sense of home for me.
I should be bitter, but I'm not. I don't hate you and I don't wish anything bad upon you. I hope you grow up one day and I hope you find someone who you treat like everything she deserves to be. I thank you for everything and maybe one day I will see you in the future, at a local coffee shop like in the movies, or at a grocery store. You with your kids, me with mine. We can smile at each other. See how far we've came.
But until then, all I have are memories to live on. I'm glad things ended. There were a lot of mixed emotions as I sat here typing and re-reading this. I hate you but I love you at the same time. Overall, I am glad it ended. The time I spent with you, I enjoyed. It's a shame you turned out to be the person you are. I hope one day you become the person I always wished you were.
