Dear most important people in our children’s lives,
I write because setting our children on a clear path--academically, socially, and emotionally—is the most important thing we do. We also have to keep a roof over their heads, put food on the table, keep them safe, and educate them. None of these tasks is easy and collectively they can be overwhelming. When we say “It Takes A Village,” that is an understatement!
Yet we often do this work alone. We overlook the important partners we have in working toward the success of our children. We are so busy that we do not consider how much lighter our responsibilities can be if we seek each other out. Principals and teachers, we often say that parents are our children’s first teachers, yet we do not consistently reach out to parents in a meaningful way. Parents, we may have had difficult relationships with previous principals and, although we say that the school is the second parent, we may not trust that school staff acts in our children’s best interest.
As principal of the John Winthrop School from 1997-2009, I considered engaging parents to be a top priority, equal to having children get high MCAS scores and ensuring that children were safe. Because building a culture where parents are truly partners in their children’s education leads to healthier children who are more open to taking the educational risks that will make them successful.
My leadership of the Winthrop School was joyful, in large part because of the strong collaboration between parents and teachers. This was not a lucky chance, but indeed something we consciously built and refined constantly.
The skill of commitment to parents was as important as the skill of teaching reading and math.
How did we make this collaboration work? First and most important, each time we hired a teacher, we made sure of their demonstrated experience and commitment to engaging parents substantively. The skill of commitment to parents was as important as the skill of teaching reading and math.
We sent parents a survey asking them, as the first teachers of their child, to let us know what worked and what didn’t work for their children. We asked for—and cared deeply about-- parents’ voices in determining how best to work with their child.
We built a School Parent Council which went from a tiny group of parents who would agree with everything I said, to parents who respectfully disagreed and brought forth their own plans for how to improve the school. My most satisfying SPC meetings were those where we wrestled with an idea, even if we didn’t always agree. Parents were invested in having a voice in determining the path for their child.
I have always said that I don’t always have the best ideas for making a school work its best. But I did know how to listen and act on parents’ suggestions. For example, a parent was unhappy that our school started at 9:30. How could she get to her job on time, she asked? Within a few months, we created a before (and after-school) program, one of the first of its kind, in BPS.
We hosted five or six Family Events per year. Some were social, like our Harvest Fair in October, or Family Field Trips on a Friday night or Saturday to the Wheelock Family Theater, Children’s Museum, or apple-picking. Other events were based on what the children were learning: Family Math Night, How to Understand MCAS, Turning off The TV and Playing Board Games for examples. It was important for us to ensure that parents understood the curriculum so that they could advocate for their child. We provided pizza and child care so that a parent could come to school at the end of a busy day and not have to worry about making dinner for the family.
In closing -- Principals, you may say that you are too busy to do these things. I admit that successful parent engagement takes time -- but, a very strong group of parent-leaders , who took the prime role in publicizing the events and purchasing needed materials, emerged, which reduced my load.
There is also funding to support parent engagement. The Mabel Louise Riley Foundation has small grants (around $3,000 per year) to support this kind of work especially in the Dudley Street area.
Be responsive to parents’ concerns or suggestions. You don’t have all the good ideas! Be open to hearing from parents.
Teachers, don’t assume that if parents can’t attend a meeting, they don’t care. So many parents work not only one, but two or three jobs. They may also live in a neighborhood far from the school and may not have a car. Think of ways that you can engage them from home. One example is asking them if they would be willing to cut letters for you for a bulletin board or other display or make phone calls to other parents to publicize a class event. The more creatively you think, the more you will be surprised at the collaboration you will have.
It goes without saying, but I’ll say it again—contact parents with good news. Let them know some thing—small or large—that their child did that was positive.
Parents, when you choose a school, ask questions to find out how welcoming the school is to parents. Attend the open house sessions and ask directly how the principal or teacher feels about engaging parents. Check with parents of current students to get their opinion. Sign up for the School Parent Council, or, if you can’t do that, ask your child’s teacher or principal what are other ways you can support your child’s school life.
Sincerely,
Emily Shamieh,
Retired Principal, John Winthrop School
Dorchester, MA
