Dear 21 Year Old Pastry Intern:
I understand that putting macaroons together by hand for 8 hours a day is not exactly what you had in mind when you decided that baking was fun and enrolled in culinary school.
I’m sure you had dreams of turning the pastry game on its head, really shaking things up. Maybe start your first bakery somewhere in Manhattan, and after a year of world record sales, you franchise it out. Then the real “Martha Stewart” money starts rolling in.
But, that’s not what happened, is it?
nstead, you are back living at home, working for minimum wage. Sometimes you get to make buttercream. Most of the time though, you stand in one place, putting little French cookies together. Fun, right?
So today, when you decided that calling me an asshole in front of the entire crew was a good idea, I didn’t yell. I knew it wouldn’t do any good. You are in a tough spot, and life isn’t fair. Welcome to adulthood.
Even though I am an asshole, I do have almost as many years cooking as you do breathing, so let me clue you into a few things that culinary school probably didn’t teach you.
1. A sense of humor and a thick skin are mandatory in the business of food. It makes me sad inside to see someone so young be so bitter about their lot in life. You are 21 years old, smile every once in a while.
2. If you have a problem with someone at work, you do not start yelling at someone in a position of authority in front of all the other employees. This leaves very little wiggle room for anything good to happen.
In this situation, we won't fire you, because we couldn’t pay someone as little as we are paying you for as much work as we get back. But in the future, at a real job, you’ll be lucky if they don't make you cry, then fire you, then make sure every person that calls looking for information on you gets the story.
Grow up and deal with your problems like an adult. Burning bridges is for babies.
3. Contrary to whatever fantasy is in your head, you are at the bottom of the totem pole. You have paid no dues. You have earned no respect. I could literally walk out onto the street and hire the first person I see to do your job and it would make no difference to our operation. You have to give respect to get respect. Keep your head down, do your job.
4. If you are going to insult someone that has been cooking as long as I have, you are going to need to get more creative than “asshole.”
Sincerely,
Grumpy Old Chef Owen
