Dear Guy Friends,
You may not know who you are. What I mean is, you might not be aware you fit into the category of ‘guy friend’ or what qualities even make a guy friend. That is a-okay; unfortunately, the guy friend status isn’t one that gets vocalised in many social situations like boyfriends and immediate family enjoy (e.g. “this is Ben, my boyfriend,” “this is Ben, my guy friend/male acquaintance.”).
Here’s some tips for those of you playing at home. Guy friends aren’t really your friends out of choice, mostly because boys and girls can’t ever be friends (I understand the controversial politics of this, and if you disagree with me, you are WRONG, but that’s a story for another time). They are your friends out of circumstance. That is, you can’t/don’t make out with them for some external reason like they are your friend’s boyfriend, or have a constant, and exhausting, on and off relationship with your friend, or they are a friend’s ex-boyfriend, or they are your brother’s friend. You may or may not want to get with them, but the bottom line is there is something that prevents this. Whatever, you are a friend because there is no other thing for you to be and we girls like to put things into neat compartments. You hang out occasionally usually when there are three or more of your friendship group present, typically with alcohol/for some special occasion like a birthday or a going away party.
Okay, guys, think about your friendship circle and its dynamics; are you a Guy Friend? Even if you think you are not ATM, you should probably listen up because I figure this is going to affect you at some point.
Just because you can be all friendly with your gal pals and no one is going to read too much into it (re: the unspoken restrictions of your friendship), it does not mean you can prance around and cockblock wherever you see fit. GIRLS WANT TO PICK UP TOO. It is lovely and endearing to have you around ‘having our back’ when we need it, and trust me we are so thankful to have you when a seedy guy asks us to “boogie”, but we will come to you.
Even though you aren’t getting any from your girl-friends, it doesn’t mean they have none to give. So when you see her, over the other side of the club, talking to some guy who looks like he plays football and probably has bad intentions and one thing on his mind, LET IT HAPPEN. Unless you have a black muscle tee and an ear piece, you are not a bodyguard, so you don’t need to act like one. Sometimes girls, even girls you know, want to use a guy with no strings and be completely meaningless. Yeah. In real life.
You are a top bloke, don’t take it personally.
Love,
Melissa
