This one is for you

Subject: This one is for you
From: Your best "mistake"
Date: 10 Feb 2015


Where do I even begin? I want to scream right now with all this pent up emotion. You broke my heart in the worst way possible, you lied to me with all your empty promises, you just are the worst person I will have ever encountered, and yet a part of me still loves you.

From the start we were destined to last forever, we had eachother and that's all we ever needed. We had the world in our hands and our lives ahead of us. We promised eachother that we were it, we would never let go. We made it through a lot, and yet we still lost it all. We invested so much time and effort into eachother, for what? Nothing.

A few years went by, still feeling like we were on top of the world. I purposed to you in the sweetest way possible, which was wasted. I wrote "will you marry me?" In the sand large enough so that when you walked out onto the balcony you and everyone else at our 11-storey condo could see. I wanted to world to know that I wanted to marry you. And you said "yes" wittily writing yes under the question because you as well wanted everyone to know that you wanted to marry me. From that moment on, everything started to fall down, slowly, and painfully. But I was on top of the world for that moment in time when you said yes and still to this day, it was the best day of my life.

From that moment on my life with you began. I started losing my friends, because we were together all the time. When I did hang out with my friends it would turn into a fight if I wasn't home when you wanted me to be. I started becoming distant with my family, because your family is the only one that mattered. I started to recognize this as normal because I loved you and I was willing to sacrifice whatever it took to be with you. I was foolish, but if I had to follow these "rules" well so did you, and you hated that. You started resenting me, you started fighting with me and I couldn't understand why. If I did these things for you, why couldn't you for me?

The fighting became non-stop. It became a daily event and the emotional abuse we went through was absolutely insane. I wanted to fix things, I wanted to start over. You wanted your space, but I didn't allow it. We were engaged to be married and space isn't something that you get. We needed to work on our problems not run away from them and hope they fix themselves. Nonetheless, I tried to give you the space you requested, and let me tell you, the pain I endured through that period was like none I ever felt. I couldn't take this. I couldn't go on thinking everyday was going to be the last so I put my foot down and said we talk or we walk. And you texted me, "good bye" you didn't even have the courage to call me when I asked to hear it. You ended an engagement through a text message.

I would have given you the world. I was faithful for over six-and-a-half years. I threw away my life long dream when it was handed to me on a silver platter. I still regret that decision to this day. I threw it away because you told me that you wouldn't wait for me. When you said that I should have ran, but no I was too in love to see that you were a cancer to me. You held me back more than anyone could ever imagine. You were toxic. You made me hate what I was becoming. I would've done anything for you and you let me go.

I hope that you learned from your mistakes in this relationship because I learned from mine. I learned to stand up for myself and don't allow anyone to change who you are. I learned that if your partner doesn't support you in everything you do, they're not the one. Thank you for that. But I constantly ask myself was the price too high?

Through this letter I am getting over you, and I hope one day you come across this letter and you feel bad for the poor sap who would do all this for a girl, and than I hope you realize, that girl is you, and that boy is me, and I hope you realize I am the best mistake you ever made. Letting go of a man who would've loved you unconditionally, because you will never get this back.


Your best mistake