The one who introduced love

Subject: The one who introduced love
From: Regret
Date: 29 Jan 2016

I feel like our time has come. I no longer feel the ways in which I used to when I used to think about you before I sleep or when we used to talk in person and I’d smile at every moment. Or when your text comes through I no longer feel as special time was taken to send a heart my way. My heart no longer skips a beat with excitement whisking in emotions of happiness. I find myself at this moment that instead of being hurt, I am sad. I no longer feel that I should invest anymore than I have already. I guess, I’m becoming/feeling other things. I believe that I am just comfortable where I am so I decide to stay for fear of missing out on what we could be rather than what the reality of the situation is.
I’m glad you got to grow and I’m glad I was a part of that process. You’ve done so much and that’s touching to know. I’ve seen you through the many phases you have had. Who knew you could be so indecisive yourself? But as time goes on we change, we learn, and we grow. We have grown and are still growing. As we wade in the open waters, we are floating away from where we started. We have drifted in the currents to the sea of the unknown – the uncharted waters. The path isn’t clear, but then again nothing ever is. The clouded path steers us in it’s own flow. We are miles a part now. We are no longer the people we were; I find we are no longer the people I thought I loved.
Love. The word I struggle to understand; the concept that means a variety of things in this world. The thing that is an idea of the human mind to define a feeling some may never know. Some may never experience or grasp the understanding. But of course, love means many things to different people. I’ve grown accustomed to the coldness of the negativity in childhood that the warmth that love supposedly glows with isn’t present. I guess just like the sun, the warm rays of love are slowly dying out. The fire was ignited years ago, but it’s dying now. The idea of love is discovering the areas of dark matter. It’s getting lost in a space where it doesn’t want to be found or seen. Love is going back to the box I locked it in. This time I’ll destroy the key. Maybe it was my fault for opening the box I wished to destroy. Thank you for making me realize what I refused to believe.
Thank you for the experience. I have learned a lot, and I have concluded a lot about myself. I never thought I’d be in situations, places, etc. without your help. Discovering the process of life has been great, but I don’t want it. I don’t think I am ready for it. I don’t believe that it’s for me. I don’t know why I thought life would change if I thought positively – something you told me. I guess some things don’t change. We will always be who we are. I hope you do continue to progress and grow. Easier said than done, I know. But you have continued to thrive and I only hope that’s a constant. I’m sad I can’t continue with you on your journey, but I know you’ll be just fine. I will be just fine.