There have been times when I started this letter just to trash it. I didn’t know how to address everything, even 4 years after the fact.
Anyway hope you’re okay and living your life at it’s best .i don’t know how to put my heart into words, but I’m going to try ,you were my best friend ,my best sister from another mother, a sister I was so proud of ,I used to look up to you. Do u remember I used to dislike you so much in start never wanted you to be the part of my group, but then things changed lord knows that I couldn’t thank him enough for giving me you ,I used to see you as his blessing towards me, in my life I was never attached to somebody like i was attached to you. I opened my heart and soul to you ,without thinking for a second that you can hurt me this bad. You left a mark on my heart, and i thought you know how I’m, bit crazy ,sensitive you know the real me but guess i was wrong . Anyway long story short wish I could rewrite the past, and take you out of my past. It was your birthday yesterday and I’m like sitting here thinking that I wish I could wish her ,though she won’t even care ,and make fun out of me .the only question I want to ask you .
Was I even your friend ever? Did u ever consider me your friend? Believe you me if you still think that I’m upset or jealous of you getting married to him ,i'm not .i'm hurt instead you knew all that time that he's the one but you went behind my back .do u suppose i earned it.
Wish I could tell you that all I have ever prayed for is your happiness and i still do. u might didn’t loved me but I did .i never wanted him you know why ?because you used to tell me every time that i don't love him and guess what i believed you why i thought you knew my heart better . you have him right now but believe me if you would had told me me about how you feel for him. i would have given you my life not just a guy that i used to like or sleep with or in a relation with for years,you were above all. You could have talked to me,I wish you could have said something to me .every time a memory on face book pops up ,I m afraid to open it as every other memory reminds me of you .your pictures on my instagram says best friend #love #sister.please answer me I don’t mean nothing to you ?people around me tells me that why do u still miss her ? she’s a horrible friend one could ever have .but believe me I still can’t accept it .problem is that I’m hurt that you didn’t understand me, problem is that you thought our friendship can ruined by a guy ,problem is I was never important .
I remember texting you like a fool telling you how much I miss you ,how much I love you ,you didn’t replied back ,and year down the line I got to know that you bitching about me ,telling lies and spreading rumors and I couldn’t believe first but I saw u a month later and I couldn’t even look at your face ,I mean that face is a face of sister ,all night long I kept asking myself why couldn't I look at your face ,because it wasn’t you it was somebody else, mean ,insecure, lair,and that’s not my best friend.every night your thoughts haunts me ,you knew that I opened up to you so much that now my soul is sacred to trust anybody else .how could you do this to me ?how could you tell him everything that I told you or lie about me ?not that I care what he thinks of me ,but I care that I never meant anything to you.
I used to plan for your wedding remember on skype we used to talk about guys and their height and you used to tell me its not about looks ,it’s about love .was it about love that you strangled the love i had for you ?
I want to tell you something. You trashed my trust, trashed what little confidence I had in myself, ruined everything that I had going for me. Was that your intention the whole time? I mean, we were “friends” for years.
I wish that a part of me didn’t miss you. I watch the days tick by wondering what it would have been like if everything didn’t happen when it did. I wonder what would have happened if you would have acted like an adult instead of a snappish child when you didn’t get your way.
i tell this my self every day that
I’m done here I cant let you ruin the trust I have on friendship.i have friends who are more real than you could ever be .i really hope that karma don’t play the game on you because when it will ,you ll know man how badly it hurts.
