Dear Kelly
There's a good chance you'll never see this note, seeing as how you're busy being awesome at life: churning out hit singles, killing it on "Ellen," raising your gorgeous kid.
But I'm writing in anyway, because being picked on for your appearance is so universal — and your response to it is such a thing of beauty — that I feel compelled to write.
I'm glad Fox News host Chris Wallace apologized for telling you to "stay off the deep-dish pizza for a little while."
I'm glad radio goofball Mike Gallagher apologized for asking Wallace, "Have you seen Kelly Clarkson? Holy cow, did she blow up."
I hope British blowhard Katie Hopkins locates the better angels of her nature and realizes her jabs at you are neither witty nor relevant.
(Not holding my breath. Doubt you are either.)
But those people are a dime a dozen. I want to talk about you, glorious you.
You replied to Wallace and Gallagher's remarks with an Instagram picture that truly spoke 1,000 words: One Professor Plum perched atop a board game of Clue.
In other words: I've moved on.
Indeed you have.
You give us your voice and your grace, neither of which shrinks or grows based on your dress size.
You surround yourself with joy and authenticity, reminding us to do the same.
You speak with honesty: "Sometimes I'm more fit and I get into kickboxing hard-core," you told Ellen DeGeneres. "And then sometimes I don't and I'm like, 'I'd rather have wine.'"
And by doing all of that, you create a better world for your daughter — for all of our daughters and sons — to inherit.
You know as well as anyone that the sad people who pretend other people's bodies are their domain will criticize you no matter what size you wear.
You see the stories and tweets about Tara Reid and Jessica Simpson and Giuliana Rancic . You know this culture polices women's weight to a degree that is actual lunacy. Dangerous, pointless lunacy.
You're not playing that game. You're busy playing a different game: Clue. With your family. Who loves you whether you win or lose.
And I love you for that.
Sincerely,
Heidi Stevens
