Dear JM,
My love, you are still the most amazing person in my life. You are pure and kind inside, and really gorgeous and good-looking outside. I love your perfection and flaws. I love every inch and bit of you. In fact, since the beginning of our relationship, I knew early on that you are the man I want to be with for the rest of my existence. As time passes by, my love for you has been growing deeper. My heart, body, and soul are in unison that whatever it takes, in sickness and in health, in richer or poorer, in happiness and sadness, with established career or just floating, with or without approval of parents, until we get older, until we're laid on our death bed, I will stick with you with my everlasting commitment. I will always be patient, understanding, supportive, loving, caring, and sweet to you and your love ones.
Despite the challenges we encountered, our years together were definitely the best for me. I felt like my life with you was perfect and I wouldn't trade it for anything. You lit something inside me that turned me to a very inspired and disciplined woman. Maybe you failed to notice but I've become economical. I started investing not for my family but for our future family. I bought that house and lot for us, to lessen the burden on your part, so that you can help your family even more especially on your parents' health expenses. I am willing to sacrifice so much for you. I am ready to skip another year before going into residency to be able to save more and be able to help you financially once you started specializing. I am not in a hurry to settle down neither to intentionally pressure you. This is just me being responsible and contributing to the realization of our plans. I always cling on to our everyday sweetness and demonstration of love for each other in every form, in words and in action. One of my favorites is your letter to my dad. I read it over and over. Here it is just to remind you:
"Dear Sir, I hope you and your family are doing well. MJ told me that you're concerned that this is merely a one-sided relationship. Please let me assure you that it's not. I am very much in love with your daughter, and I can only hope and pray that she feels the same. Unfortunately, my parents don't approve of our relationship for whatever reasons they may have, but that in no way diminishes my feelings for MJ. It does, however, restrict my what I can post on social media. A few months ago, my parents were both admitted due to their respective heart diseases, and it is out of love and respect for my parents that I don't give them another cardiac episode. I also have every intention of someday marrying and building a family with MJ, but I'm not in a hurry to do so because as it stands now, I have yet to prove myself and would not be able to provide for her adequately. When the day comes that I'll ask for your permission to marry MJ, I want you to feel confident that I'm the kind of man that will make a great husband for your daughter and an even greater father to your grandchildren. Rest assured that I am taking every step towards that direction. Someday, when we're both ready, hopefully with your blessing, we would both make our dreams come true."
I thought our relationship is going well and strong enough from all adversities, but you suddenly gave up and left me and shut me down from your life. The heartbreak you caused me is nearly killing me now. I have been reading our text conversations over and over. I have been viewing our photographs again and again. I have been waiting for your message everyday and whenever I am in my clinic, I can't help but look outside at the parking area imagining you coming out of your car. I still can't stop crying. I blame and pity myself. Most of the time, I just lay on my bed, awake, crying, thinking, questioning, my head spinning, my heart palpitating. At my parents' home, I am forced to eat but secretly vomit because my body resists any kind of nourishment. At work, I pretend to be fine but eventually escape early during office hours. I post on Facebook and Instagram to pretend that we're okay and I'm okay and doing great. But the reality is, I am broken. I am lost. Convincing you to come back to me, promising you better and happier relationship, and texting you everyday made me look like crazy. I've never been like this before. I lost my self worth, pride, and confidence. I lost my one true love, the greatest love of my life. My kind heart was shattered into pieces, nothing's left of me. I am like a zombie now, no amount of helping hands can pull me out of this torture. You are the one I need, maybe a sorry and an explanation from you will ease the pain. Unfortunately, you chose to continue to break my heart and lack even a little care and love for me.
Now that I am ruined, and there's no you to mend me, I am now giving up our beautiful relationship. I will try my very best to stop texting you. Sorry for disturbing you everyday with my breakdowns and for flooding you with questions because I am really bothered and clueless, or more of in denial of our situation. I am now lifting everything to God and hoping that He'll help me learn to repair myself. I deserve happiness and peace of mind and I'm going to find it on myself, without you, not from you. For whatever real reason you have for leaving me, for giving up, for being with another girl, and avoiding me, I am whole-heartedly forgiving you. I hope that your decision made you a happier man and a better son. If you decide to come back to me, you are welcome because that's how much I love you. I love you faithfully, unconditionally, and for eternity. I sincerely wish you and your family well.
Love,
MJ
