To my husband who just told me he wants a divorce
I have a question; how can you just ask for a divorce as if it is as easy as picking between a giant loaf of bread or a small loaf? Did you think at all before you said it? Did you regret it as the words slipped off your tongue? Marrying you was the only easy decision I have every made in my life, divorcing you will be one of the hardest. I do not understand how you can love me so much and then just stop. Ohh Yea, you probably never did to begin with. I want you to know how much I do care about you as much as you disagree, in case you were wondering I have never cheated on you, I have made sure the kids were bathed and fed before you got home from work, and I have never failed to have you a hot meal to come home to. I have always gotten the kids in bed at around 10 so me and you could spend some time together before I would rub your hair until you fell asleep. I just cannot understand what I have done to push you that far. I do not understand how right this second you are so closed off from me that it is almost like you aren’t even here. I want so badly for you to tell me you are sorry but mostly I want you to know how much I love you. My heart aches as I type this so bear with me if it isn’t the best I have a lot going on and writing helps me slip into my own little virtual reality where life is perfect and the man whom I chose to spend the rest of my life with still choices me every day. You may think I do not care but I am hiding my face looking at pictures of us, crying, and as the memories and the sound of your laughter run through my mind I want to run and hide in your arms like a child afraid of a thunderstorm. I must be a strong woman though, I must be tough, I cannot show you, but I promise I do love you.
