To My Future Husband

Subject: To My Future Husband
Date: 5 Mar 2018

To My Future Husband...
I went through my first heart break. I can’t breathe. I barely ate anything today and sleeping is out of the question. I find a small comfort knowing you are out there somewhere. Maybe we’ve already met, maybe there’s still years between us. Maybe you’re going through a heartbreak right now too. If you were here would I be sad? Would you comfort me? Would we know how much our lives were going to matter to each other? I have no idea about the what ifs. What if this guy didn’t break my heart? What if he still wanted me? What if there’s still a chance for us? What if you’re him? What would you say when you read this? Would you be sorry? Would you regret us? I have no idea... I don’t want to go through another heartbreak. I am in so much pain and I always thought girls in movies and in reality were being dramatic. That’s one thing you can always know movies are accurate about... heartbreak. I never thought this would be happening to me. Both of my best friends are in year long relationships with the first men they dated and probably the men they will spend their lives with. How lucky. I’m almost 20 and am craving a future I don’t know is out there or not. It was only a fling with this guy, something I came to realize though my mind thought it was more. I saw him for 5 months. 4 technically because there was a month we didn’t talk. We went on one date and were never “official” but he means.... meant the world to me. Why is that? Why do we give others so much power in our happiness? I hope you do not take the power but that we share it. I want you to know... I love you so much. And I am so grateful for you. Thank you for coming to my side and staying here. Thank you for loving me more than I could ever possibly love myself. Thank you for knowing my insecurities and not only accepting them, but cherishing them and adoring them. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I guess if I have to go through a hundred more heartbreaks, it will have been worth it to end up with you.

G.Stunning 2018