An open letter to the best love of my life.
I'm Jem and i fell in love hard to a guy and im sharing my story about someone who meant the world to but have left me..
My letter is to let people know that love has no boundaries. That if you really loved the person, every little sacrifice or even the pain is worth it. Just love and give your heart. As i have given mine i proved myself what love really is. My hopes and happiness is in this letter and hoping one day God will hear my prayers.
I've met him in a place where two soul was looking for fun. And we clicked immediately. The chemistry and sex was extraordinary. We were so attracted to each other.
Things were going so fine and we met weekly and was having an amazing time. After few months of dating, he left the country for work. Ive said farewell and all the best, but then he called and we started again. A long distance relationship. We became good friends. We connected back more than we used to be. We spoke all the time and made each other satisfied. We helped each other with things, ideas and advice. We planned travels together.
After a month, my mom died and i have to be in my country where he is. I grieved. He held my heart and said everything will be ok. And all the love took place. We rescheduled our plans and travel.
After the passing of my mom, we continued.
Days of my grieving he got into an unfortunate accident. It got me worried, terrified. From there i started to care, my heart was pumping that i wanted the car to fly and see how he is, from then i knew and saw myself worried to see him in the hospital. Upto when i saw his safe i feel grateful and thank God he is ok.
We stayed for few hours to have him properly checked and cleared. Then we went to the hotel and came back midnight for the mri. I didnt feel any tiredness as my concern was just for him to be safe and feel better. The ups and downs of our relationship made us stronger and loved each other more.
Our love bloomed like beautiful roses. As i needed to fly back to my work he stayed on the other country for his own profession, the missing game was crazy. We planned another travel after another. Coming back and forth countless times from country to country to be with an amazing man that i loved was definitely all worth it. And i would do it again if need be..
It was euphoric. No words can explain the beauty of those travels with him. The time of being with someone your heart beats for was unbelievably wonderful and priceless. All of the stunning views made it so astonishingly breathe taking and well spent with him. It was magical and one in a millon in this universe.
All the sweetest kisses and photos taken together with crazy views are engraved in my heart and mind.
Our real love started. And told ourselves lets cross bridges when we get there. As he needs to leave the country in a year for studies. We agreed and started the formal relationship. The first time I've heard him say he loves me put me way up high in the clouds in heaven. He was my heaven on earth. He is this wonderful guy who has a brilliant mind. Full of positivity and healthiness. He was tall, handsome, fit, and is really ravishing. We learn many things with each other, as he learns english with me i learn to be fit with him. We were partners in crime and greatness. We call each other all the sweetest pet names there is. He calls me his baby,his love, his beautiful, his small mustache monkey, his family, his bestfriend and his partner in everything. And he was the same for me. Best is, He was my bestfriend. I told myself that i would love him truly and take care of him by my heart. And i did...
After 3 months of being away he came back, then he asked me to move in together. And its one prayer came true. We did. And we were amazingly living together. In our beautiful home we do all things side by side, automatically one helps another and it was non stop. From cooking, to preparing, from cleaning and washing dishes, from our smelling good laundry, and folding clothes, cleaning the house and all. We were the best. Both of us were crazy living good together.
Eventually, his exams for his studies came. It was hard as we both exerted all of our efforts and minds together for it. We fail, we lost hope but we bounce back higher! Submitted the exam requirements and projects and waiting for the results. And he passed it! I was so proud and happy for him. Eventhough i knew its the start of him leaving for school in few months. Still, i said to myself i love him so much that i will sacrifice anything for him even it means being away from him i would still support him...
From the school admissions, we spoke the same words we had. My love we will cross the bridge when we get there. As he say our love is bigger than any problems, our love is bigger than our room and bigger than anything that we will always solve it.
Together we continue live our loving life and travels.
Time pass, in relationships as we go up we go down, with the unexpected fights due to my faults and kuku happens. We both adjusted on our ways and we still better each other. I can say most of the mistakes were really mine. I was really wrong. And ill forever be regretful for the things I've done wrong. And it taught me a lesson i will learn for life.
Continuously we continue to travel and spend amazing times and insanely best making love of our lives. What we do has no words to explain. We were happy and very much contented with each other. Until.
A big bomb exploded, i lost my job. That i needed to leave the country asap.
I was shattered to million pieces.
We packed and time came i needed to go, with all of the darkness of what happened i hold on to his promises that everything will be okay.
It made me strong and saw hope. As i was really crashed from the ground.
I left.
Days after we were ok, however due to the separation anxiety and lost I suffered badly that all i wanted is to see him and talked to him. He felt suffocated. We had misunderstings. It made me feel i died and cant hold on to the harsh reality i have.
Days passed he became different, he start not to keep his words. He start to let me down, my bestfriend and love left me behind and broke up with me as he cannot stand the difficulty and my kuku.
I never thought you can die even if you're alive. I felt like my heart really broke and i felt i got stabbed a million times.
Until today I can't understand and accept how such a wonderful person turned to be someone else in a glimpse of an eye. How my love loved me was unexplainable and just a snap he says its gone. Im devastated. And can't believe its real. I was not ready. Losing your bestfriend on the time you needed him most tore my world apart.
So many questions running in my mind all at once, is this really real? Only few days after i leave? Did he really thrown away everything we've had so quickly? Do i deserve this? Isnt it so unfair? How can he do this to me? Was our relationship the best there is? Why? Does he really dont love me anymore? Just like that?
It got me so lost. And i have no words to describe how worst i feel. I just can't believe its really happening to me after everything we've been through together. After all the words and promises..
Still upto now, Im still hoping for the last chance to meet him and say the real goodbye. Im ready to accept any pain he can throw me. For the last time still even the hurt i have is extremely too much, i still just wanna hug him so tight, spend the last happy moment together and be the person we were and say our farewell. i hope and pray that even my fairy tale story is ending i really hope it can end magically that our story deserves.
To you my love, my fairy tale story... You are the best chapter of my life. Even now on how hurtful you are treating me please know that I still love you and i miss you everyday. I really pray to God that you can see my heart. All of my intentions, wishes and love for you. How much i would accept the goodbye our love deserves. Loving you is the best thing I've ever done and I'll forever keep you in the deepest part of my heart. I love you so much that nothing in this world can explain. You were my rock and my strength, loosing us placed me in the saddest place i never thought existed. Let me bring back those broken pieces of me. Last hurrah babysheli... Last happy time with you my love and i will go farthest away from you and heal the broken heart i have. I promise....
