I recently heard through the grapevine that you're pregnant with your first child. I was surprised by the news considering your stance on children, and your relationship, but mostly the fact that it took 3 months for me to hear about it. At first, I had terrible, and hateful thoughts run through my mind, then it turned to sadness. I miss you all the time, and I pretend that I don't. I'm so sad that I'm not a part of your life for this, and I'm sorry for not trying to be. I know there were a lot of shady events that took place between our partners, and their families, so much that it drove a divide right between us. Right when I first started having my children, and when I thought I would need you most, we got further and further apart. I remember after we had stopped speaking, I would shop the grocery store you worked at. Both of us trying not to be obvious of wanting to connect again. I would go through your line, and make small talk like a stranger, and you were courteous as if I were any other customer. I hated every time I walked away without telling you how amazing you are, and how thankful I am to have had you so involved in my life. I pictured us being friends throughout all our lives. I never had to impress you, or feel judged by you. Our lives are completely separated now, and have been for almost 2 years. I haven't gained another friendship like that since, and I don't think I ever will. I'm sorry that I took you for granted. I'm sorry that I didn't act more rationally when things were falling apart. And, I'm sorry for not ever thanking you for being such a good friend to me. I miss you. Xxox
