Mr B,
My God do I love you! I would literally do anything for you... I would fight until every bone in my body was broken to protect you. Your happiness is my happiness. Full stop.
You've asked me a question today that my ears have ached to hear for so long. But the truth is, for the first time ever, my heart isn't able to override my head. No, I will not move in with you. I will not get back together with you. I do not want to be yours again. Ha! Who the hell would have thought I'd ever feel that way!
Truth is, the tears... The endless heart ache... The times my stomach lurched... The days I just about managed to swallow my food only to feel it come back up. All of those pains are still so raw and so gut wrenching that I simply do not have the strength or the courage to face them once more.
Because here it is... The bottom line. The headline you won't be expecting to hear... I know. I know and I know and I know that even if you choose me and I drop everything and become yours once more... The day will soon come when you walk away once more. Just like you did twice before. You will always walk away and you won't look back. And truth be told, if you went for the hat trick, I simply wouldn't survive it.
So I'll keep walking down my path and you keep walking down yours. I love you Mr B. Always have and God knows I always will. But I'm done with dreaming about a future with you. Because history has shown me, a future with you is a very limited thing.
With love always,
Your Messerschmitt.
