I was never afraid of loving you. I was never afraid not to be loved back either.
I didn't wish for what we had.
I didn't wish for a happy ending either.
Knowing you have a girl, and kids, it was enough for me to see you and be with you every single day in the office.
Knowing my place from the start, it was killing me since then.
Sorry for the temptations. Sorry for reaching out to you. Sorry for letting you fall for me. Sorry for being your mistress.
Sorry for loving you so much that I forgot how to love myself. Sorry for making you hurt me, that I forgot my true value as a person, and a lady for most.
The pain molded me like this, the guilt has taken me to the extent of losing my principles in life. The pain made me loved you more, but in resist I learned to play it all around.
Thinking you can't be mine, I've been thirsty to have people around. Thinking of you with your family, I've been so eager to fall out of love.
Every single day of my love, is a hundred times of my pain and pity for myself. Every single day I am with you, is a hundred times of guilt and lose of self worth.
Forgive me if I loved you that much.
Forgive me for hurting you too.
Forgive me for all the good and bad memories we spent together that made us sinners. Forgive me for sharing the immorality.
I decided to let you go, but its killing me more. I thought its the best thing to do, I know it is but I dont know till when can I handle not being with you.
I hope I can be selfish. I hope I can turn back time. I hope we can change things upside down. I hope she can be me, I hope they can be my kids, I hope.
I hope we can start over in a new world, in a new set of time, with no one else but US. How I wish we can be reincarnated and pull ourselves together as one.
Now I live with pain and grieve just to see you everyday. My mind and heart is having a war, and little by little its like having anesthesia on my spine, everythings getting numb. My love for you made me a zombie, surviving this place without purpose, dead and alive at the same time.
I will love you in a distance.
I will love you till my last breathe. I was tired and I gave up but it doesn't mean I love you no more. I need to be strong for you, your family and for myself.
I never thought that I loved the wrong man, I dont see it the way they see it, because I dont regret anything about us, every moment was a great time. You were my greatest love but this love can't conquer all.
One day, you will forget how you loved me, but I won't. Because I just have a little time, and I will spend it loving you and feeling the pain as well.
One day I'm gone, you'll not even notice, I won't say goodbye again, I won't even bother calling you for the last time.
Just one wish, buy a white rose every January 22nd, and give it to her. She deserves the love that you shared with me. Look into the stars once you remember me, wave your hand and send me a kiss. If you won't remember me, it doesn't matter, no one cared for me anyway, I'm used to it. I'm used with all the pain in the world. I will be happy to watch you succeed in life. I will always love you in a distance till my last breathe.
I love you forever...
