To The Man That I Thought I Would Marry

Subject: To The Man That I Thought I Would Marry
From: The One He Ignored
Date: 22 Nov 2017

Maybe I was naive,maybe I was really the one to you. I don't know.

I'll never get the closure.
I really thought you were old enough and mature enough to talk about it to me,but you aren't.
It's been about 3 weeks since you decided I'm not the one.

After almost 11 months of me sticking by your side.
You red flags seemed like welcome home signs to me.
In the end maybe I should've left the first time you got so angry over a game that you threw stuff.

Maybe I should've told you ,when you were yelling out angry;that you scared me.
That I was scared. That the louder your voice got;I shook.
You never saw it,you never knew.

And how bad it stung everytime since your oh so bestfriend told me after we started dating that you use to have a thing for her.
You said she lied and how she has been inlove with you forever.
You didn't want her.

But somehow you didn't understand that it hurt though.
how she never wanted us to date in the first place.
How before we dated she told me how hard to love you were and how she tried to one up me.
I told you I felt like I was just a different version of her.
You denied it but didn't seem to understand that I was hurt.

I let you get away with the comment about my mum.

How you understood apparantly why my dad left my mum,but you didn't seem to acknowledge that my mum got bad because my dad left.
Which wasn't the reason my dad left. My mum was a loving american dream wife,that my dad left because he thought some woman he slept with was better than my mum.
While my mother raised his two kids.
After the divorce my dad managed to make a trainwreck out of my mum.
Now please explain to me now how you had only one ounce of knowledge as to why my dad left my mum.

Friends that I told your comment didn't understand why I let you get away with that.
In the end it did hurt and I regret that after I explained to you why my mum is the way she is now,I never got an apology.

In fact I never got an apology from you ever.
I never got an ''I'm sorry I was ignoring you''
I never got an apology not even on the day you left besides that you're sorry about feeling bitter towards me.

I hope you tell them if they ask , what happened; that you ignored me. That I didn't excessively texted you and you didn't have one minute to type an ''Hey babe , I love you and miss you.'' On your trip.

That after 5 days I got upset and called you out on it and told you that the way you're acting made me question if you cheated and just weren't man enough to tell me.

And I hardly had trust issues , atleast hardly made them notice.

I trusted you and after the way you ended us; I regret that I trusted you in the first place, if you could've been trusted you wouldn't have broken up the way you did.

No instead you blamed me for not trusting you and how you felt now dead inside,how you can't be with someone that doesn't trust you but your actions made my friends not trust you in the first place.
They didn't trust you because of the way you behaved,I trusted you but you broke trust every single time.

I blamed my disorder.
You blamed me as a person.

And you broke it off with the last words being ''I don't have any feelings for you anymore'' after I told you I was scared to lose you.

And you want to tell me something about trust?
I trusted you to be better than that.
But you weren't.
You blocked me everywhere, no contact and 2 weeks later your bestfriend congratulates us to the engagement.

I got my heart broken twice in a spawn of a few weeks and you wanted to tell me something about trust.

I trusted you to send me atleast a text every day. One text.
Just one text. The first few days were fine. After that you just left me on read...
Don't talk to me about trust when I had more trust in you than you actually deserved.

I deserved an apology that I'll never get from you and that's one thing I regret.
It should've been me that left you , not you leaving me.