Dear Ex,
Do you realize what you did? Do you realize you just threw away something that was so amazing, and was a huge part of your life? Now I know that I could be an absolute bitch sometimes, and neither of us deserved each other, but I truly did love our relationship. You think that this would be better, and it would make me happier. But, you're wrong. All this has got me thinking.
-How could you after two years of all these amazing memories just throw it all away..? OVER TEXT TOO!!!
-Will you always listen to what your mother has to say? Because obviously you chose the wrong time to do so.
-Did you cry yourself to sleep the way you let me the night you left?
-Even though it's the next day, am I still racing through your head nonstop the way you are to me?
-Was I in your dreams the night you left me the way you were in mine haunting me with that stupid smile? Also, did you continue to wake up throughout the night with your broken heart? (If you have one?)
-Have you told your family yet? Do they care?
But even though all these questions may go unanswered. There's a few things I want you to remember, then become sad at the thought. Let's start at the beginning,
Remember when I first met you? We were in the cafeteria of our high school, and you stole my bag and wouldn't give it back. It's funny because I thought your first name was your last name. That summer I had a party at my cabin. You came and it made me so happy because I secretly had a crush on you, but didn't tell you because I was scared. I liked someone else who came to the party too, and I was just a mess. That night when we were all going to bed, I just wanted to cuddle. The other person didn't want to so you offered. That was the first time I ever slept with someone through the night, and it felt amazing to wake up to someone. My mom kept telling me that day that I liked you and, I just kept denying it. (Little did I know I was falling for you, and fast.) Fast forward to the night you asked me out. It was September 12th, 2014. You asked me to homecoming first with this silly little picture you made me of a whale. That night was the opening dance at our school. I was so excited and nervous about that night. First time I actually fell in love with some one that loved everything I did. I ended up asking you if you had anything to ask at the end of the dance. You asked me out then, and we kissed. First time I ever felt such big fireworks. The night had a clear sky, big moon, and my best friend danced behind us while we kissed. You didn't close your eyes because you thought she was dying. Fast forward a few weeks, and I'm at your house for the first time. I remember meeting your parents. They were amazing people. We sat in the basement watching whatever movie we watched, listening to your family upstairs watching the Bills game screaming, "Bills Bills Meep!" That night you told me that your mother thought that I was beautiful and you were very lucky... (She's right. You were.) Fast forward to October, Columbus Day weekend. It was our first month. We went to the cabin with my family. It was the first time we ever spent an entire weekend together. I finally got to have a sleepover with my best friend. That was the first time that you ever touched the thing. (You know exactly what I mean) That already made me feel closer to you. Everything was going great the next couple months. Then Christmas came around. I asked you if my family could come to your place for Christmas Eve since it was only going to be my parents and me. You said sure, but it was the first time your mother trashed on the plans we created because we weren't apart of the family, and never will be. I was devastated. I couldn't even begin to talk about how I felt. How could anyone do that do someone? It kept racing through my head like it did every time. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? So, fast forward now to April. Everyone had left your house. I was scared because you wanted to try new things. We had done a lot of stuff in the past, but nothing like this. Well, we did it. I gave you something that I thought I would be giving my husband. A husband I thought would be you. It was very strange. Goat simulator playing in the background. We did it several more times before you left me, and each time you made me feel closer to you. You respected me, and loved me for me. Funny thing was, I thought I was going to have your kid on several occasions, but you were always there telling me it was okay because nothing even happened. Which is true, it didn't, because you respected me. It was funny because when your mom found out, I knew that's when it would all go downhill. BUT, we'll get to that. That May, you asked me to go to prom with you. I was so excited, but scared again. A Sophomore going to a Junior/Senior Prom?? We went, and I had the night of my life. Fast forward to summer: Every summer my family spent several weeks at our cabin. I wanted you to come down for a little bit, and we could spend time which each other. Once, again your mother said no, but didn't give a reason this time. That's how it always was from that point on. A "no" with no reasoning. That 4th of July I wanted to spend it with you. Kiss you under the fireworks. Once again, a "no", but this time only I could come to your aunt's house, but only I could. I would have to leave my parents alone on a holiday. I couldn't do that because they mean so much to me. Just like you did. Well, that August, I finally got my license. I was so excited because now I could come, and see you when ever, and leave whenever. (As long as it was before 9). I saw you so much, and it made me the happiest girl on the entire planet. Your Princess. I'll never forget the night I came over there. I was going to sleep over like I did almost every weekend, and sometimes during the weekdays for school. It was about 9:30, and when I was able to sleep over. All of a sudden, your mother decided I couldn't because it was wrong, and stuff. We always slept separately anyways. She was telling you I had to leave even though she knew I couldn't drive after 9. She said she didn't care where I went I just had to get out. That was the first time I saw her true colors. We just ignored her, and went swimming in your pool anyways. I slept over anyways, and she didn't say a word. Around this time too, I lost two people that had a huge impact on my life too. My two best girlfriends. You helped me through it, and I still loved you with all my heart. You always knew what to say, and how to love me. My Junior year started, and it was your Senior year. I was so sad, and scared because I knew once you left high school it would start going downhill. Little did I know, I was 100% correct on that one. (Go me.) Throughout that year, we started getting into even more fights. All mostly caused by your mother, that you never wanted to stand up to, and protect us. I would get even more upset because of it, but you didn't care. On Valentine's Day, we wanted to go to Olive Garden. (My favorite place.), but once again you let your mother butt in and she made you take me somewhere fancier. Making you spend almost $200. I don't understand why you never stood up to her. In March of that year, it was the first time I ever went on vacation without my parents. We went to NYC to go stay with your brother and his girlfriend for a weekend. I was so scared because we were traveling somewhere alone. A big place. Alone. You were there by my side through the whole thing, and we made it. Funny part was though, we were supposed to go that November before, but your mom put a huge stop on that. For what reason? Nothing. Because there wasn't one. Your brother was cool with it, but she wasn't. Anyways, we traveled the city together seeing so many amazing things. After that trip, and missing our train home, I knew that even though bad things happen, I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else but you. I saw myself marrying you, and trust me I let you know. You let me know you felt the same way. Summer came, and the same thing happened. I started getting even more upset, and you stopped caring a little more each day. You started to gain a bunch of weight, and you kept promising you were going to lose that weight, but once again never kept that promise. You also said you were going to finally go, and get your license, but again nothing. I kept getting upset because I was sick of driving us places. It was a whole year since I got mine, and you didn't even want to get yours. I asked you, and everyday you said yeah sure. But nope. To this day, you still don't have it. But it's whatever. All I ever wanted was to go on surprise dates and stuff. Then, that July we were at the chicken wing fest. You had told me your mom went through your backpack, and found your box. LOLOL That was a trip, because your mom hated me 7685654x more, and you didn't know what to say to her. You couldn't say anything that was going to protect me. New Years Eve came and that was the first year I got to spend it with anyone. It was my first New Years kiss, and I loved it. We even got it on tape.. Our two year came, and I was so excited. First time I ever made it this far with anyone. The thing that upset me though was you never wrote me little letters like you always did. I loved that so much. You stopped doing all the little surprises that made me so happy. When I told you about this, you said you were going to start again, but never did. I still had hope. Yes, I did start losing feelings because of all these things, but I still loved you so so much, and I still saw myself marrying you, and doing all these amazing things with you. Well, that November I went to Florida with my family. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I just wished you were there with me, but I knew you couldn't be. The whole time I just wanted to go home so I could see your face. Hug my little boobear, and kiss those lips that made me fly. When I did come home, you didn't really greet me with the welcome I thought you would. The whole time I was gone you talked about how much you missed me, and how much you needed me. I was upset, but I didn't care because I was there. New Years came again but this year you couldn't come to my house because you just weren't allowed to. No reason due to your mother. I was so upset and I just didn't understand why. In January, you went on a cruise with one of your best friends that you knew since grammar school. This kid always tried breaking us up. Along with many of your other two friends... lol You went anyways with the kid because you said it was gonna be fun. I wasn't upset that you went. I was upset you went because this kid tried so hard to break us up before and you hadn't talked to him in forever. But now here we are February 2017. The year I graduate high school. The time I thought you were going to be there to cheer me on the way I did to you the year before. I had just seen you this past Sunday, and we hung out all day. You kept kissing me on the cheek nonstop. You told me how much you loved me, and you would never let me go. How could you show someone that much physical love that day, then throw in all way not even a week later, that Thursday. I still don't understand, and I just can't wrap my head around it. I'm still so devastated. You think this would be better for me? Boy, are you so wrong. I never felt this way about anyone before, and I told you that several hundreds times before. But you know what, I have a feeling you'll come back. Part of me hopes you do. I still want to be your Princess and you be my Prince Charming. I still want to be able to tell you everything that goes on throughout the day, and tell you when I'm about to kill someone. I want to be able to go to all your family parties, and listen to everyone scream. I want to cuddle with your cat. Man I love that thing. I will never stop thinking about you, and the life we could of had with each other before you threw it all away because you thought it would be better. My family never hated you. I never hated you. I still don't. I'm just disappointed in the thinking you started to get. Now don't get too high with your brother and friends now. Remember, that stuff messes with your mind. Maybe that's why you left me. I just still hope you find something of me, and get sad. I'm going to try to enjoy myself with the concerts we were going to go this summer. I guess I will have to bring someone else. Most importantly, I hope you read this letter, and realize what you did. Just know that I will love you forever and always. Just like you wrote to me on the thing that's hanging on my wall...I love you so much, and I miss you like crazy...I'm still here for you waiting to make several hundred more memories that I still won't be able to all write down...
-Your ex Princess....
